Watching Clouds and Birds
by Kaysin
Summary: When clouds and birds meet, two geniuses find a haven together from the chaos of their lives. A series of oneshots featuring the relationship of Shikamaru and Neji. ShikaNeji. The Resulting Hangover: The boys cope with the aftermath of the kiss, with help
1. Confessions over Shougi

**Watching Clouds and Birds**

**Confessions over Shougi**

Shikamaru moved the piece forward, then leant back on his elbows, eyes returning once more to the sky. "Checkmate," he said, almost as an afterthought.

There was the sound of crunching, then a 'huh', and Shikamaru sighed. Chouji was a fine friend, and an excellent ninja, but he couldn't play a good game of Shougi if his next meal depended on it.

In fact, he doubted if anyone could, except for Asuma, but the Jounin was out on an S-ranked mission. Ino squawked too much when she lost, Naruto and Kiba could barely keep still for the first move and it just wasn't Sakura or Hinata's thing. Shino was smart, but his intelligence didn't necessarily translate to strategy games, and to be honest Shikamaru didn't feel up to asking him. Sasuke might have been an option, if he wasn't a) a jerk, and b) absent from Konoha. Shikamaru knew better than to even mention him, especially with Naruto around.

Slowly, his eyes flicked from the clouds to the grounds they were in. It was strangely peaceful, the Rookie Nine minus one just hanging out after training most of the day. It was rare these days for them to all be together, and Shikamaru had the feeling it was going to just get rarer from here.

"Another game?" Chouji asked. Shikamaru sighed, shaking his head.

"I need a challenge," he muttered. His friend shrugged, not offended, and opening another packet. He offered it to Shikamaru, who took one with a small smile.

There was a noise from the bottom end of the fields, before Naruto's unmistakable voice yelled out, "Fuzzy-brows!"

"Naruto! It is good to see you once more! Sakura-chan, you are also here!"

Shikamaru frowned. Great, another noisy person. Rock Lee was gesturing at Sakura, saying something in a loud voice that sounded suspiciously like 'glad to see you enjoying your springtime of youth'. He decided not to ask.

Behind Lee were his two teammates. Tenten waved at Hinata and then Ino, seeming comfortable with the younger shinobi. Neji was doing a good job of pretending he wasn't there. Shikamaru wondered how his teammates had persuaded him to actually socialise with anyone, let alone those he considered weaker.

Or maybe not, at least not four of them. All five who had set out on that ill-fated rescue attempt appreciated the others' talents more. Shikamaru watched as Neji nodded, first to Naruto who waved manically, then to Kiba.

"Shika," Chouji started, drawing his attention. "Neji's good at strategy, right? He worked out your plan when we were in Jirobo's trap. And he's said to be a genius."

He considered that. Normally talking to someone arrogant like the Hyuuga was too troublesome, but Shikamaru really wanted a good game of Shougi. He probably didn't even know how to play. Still, there was nothing to lose.

"Neji." He didn't bother to raise his voice, but Neji obviously picked it out over the sounds of the others. His head turned, pinning Shikamaru with those eerie white eyes. "Want a game?"

He didn't blink as Neji held his gaze, letting the other see there was no trick involved. He just wanted a game. No hint of his feelings showed on his face, and Shikamaru was about to give up and turn away when the other nodded slightly, walking over to them. Both ignoring the startled stares from the others, Shikamaru set the board up as Neji sat down.

* * *

A little distance away, Ino, Sakura and Tenten watched with something akin to fascination. "I don't get it," muttered Sakura.

"Well, they were together on the…you know. I think Neji was impressed with Shikamaru's leadership skills. And he does like playing Shougi occasionally."

"Yeah, and Shikamaru's been dying for a new opponent. He knows everyone else's patterns."

"Yeah, okay, but…" Sakura trailed off, watching as they both moved the counters, neither looking up nor speaking. Shikamaru had his legs loosely crossed, elbows resting on his knees as he slouched, while Neji knelt, back straight and posture perfect. The contrast between the two couldn't have been more obvious. "…I don't get it."

Privately, Ino and Tenten agreed.

* * *

Twenty minutes into the game, and neither had yet to look up. By then the novelty had worn off and attention had focused elsewhere. Shikamaru rested his chin on his laced fingers and studied the board. He watched Neji's hand moved, eyes taking in the layout, before allowing a small, satisfied smile. He moved a piece, and waited.

Neji reached out to counter, before stopping. Frowning slightly, he looked at the board again, obviously just realising something. For the first time in the game, Shikamaru looked up. He took on those intense eyes, that slight frown, the narrow line of his mouth, all showing his concentration and frustration. But he also took in the relaxed shoulders and loose hands. Whether he realised it or not, Neji was having fun, or at least as much fun as the stoic Hyuuga could have.

Then Neji managed to do something impressive. He surprised Shikamaru.

"I forfeit."

"Huh?" Shikamaru blinked at him.

The other looked into his eyes, calm. "I forfeit," he repeated patiently.

"Why?"

An eyebrow rose, scornful. His mouth twisted mockingly. "Because I cannot win, obviously."

Shikamaru's eyes dropped to the board. He was right; he couldn't win, but still…

"You couldn't win from the start," Shikamaru pointed out. It was boasting, or arrogance. It was a simple statement of fact.

Instead of getting indignant, like he'd half expected, Neji inclined his head forward. "Perhaps not. But there was a chance. Now, you have trapped me. In less than five moves, no matter what I do, you will check me. So I forfeit."

Shikamaru looked down at the board again, bemused. It was such a strange thing to do. Not really surrendering, but recognising that there was nothing he could do, and cutting his losses. Predicting his opponents move and knowing when to fall back. Naruto would have called it cowardice. Giving up. But it was smart. It was safe. It was…

…what Shikamaru would have done.

…Huh.

Shikamaru looked up at a movement, and saw Neji beginning to rise. He frowned. "Wait." Neji looked at him, and Shikamaru floundered for a second, wondering why he said it. Then he realised.

The game had been entertaining. Challenging. Shikamaru hadn't had time to look at the clouds, or think about his last mission, or think up ways to avoid his mum's lecture for not cleaning his bedroom. "Another game?"

Neji stared at him, appraising. It was unnerving really. Those opaque eyes could see down to his soul, stripping him of all defences. He remembered him in the preliminaries, ripping Hinata to shreds with just his words. Watching her body language, finding her every weakness and using it to end the match without even a blow. And if Naruto hadn't been there, he might have succeeded.

Still, Shikamaru met his eyes with his own half-lidded, bored. Not really caring if he stayed or went. No expectations, no pressure. From the side there was a yell, and Neji looked over to see Lee brawling with Naruto, Tenten giggling with the girls. A contemptuous look flashed in his eyes. And, really, who else could he sit with? Hinata? That almost made Shikamaru laugh.

Then Shikamaru blinked, startled to see Chouji sitting with Kiba, both watching the two idiots going head to head. When had he left?

Neji sat back down. "Very well". Shikamaru turned his attention off Chouji and onto his opponent.

Maybe this time he could check Neji before the other had time to forfeit.

They were in their third game when they were forcibly stopped. As usual for Konoha, the only warning was a couple of drops before the sky opened up and everyone in the field was soaked.

Due to his habit of endlessly watching the sky, Shikamaru usually knew when it was about to rain. So now he stared blankly upwards at the dark sky, wondering just when so many clouds had gathered. How long had they been playing?

Whoever was still in the grounds began squealing or yelling, starting to rush to the nearest covering. Neji also stood up, and Shikamaru felt a twinge of regret. In the last game, he'd been forced to concentrate his mind, hands forming a circle with the fingertips touching, a move that had got him through the third Chuunin exam. Only Asuma had made him do that in a Shougi game before.

"Want to continue at my house?" It was out before he could consider it, but as long as they could avoid his mother it wasn't too bad an idea. The look Neji threw him seemed to disagree.

"We will lose the placements of the pieces," he pointed out.

Shikamaru shrugged. "I'll remember them."

Neji seemed to think about it, each second getting them more and more wet, while Shikamaru put away the game. Finally he nodded. "I do not have to be back yet."

"Come on." Shikamaru turned and starting walking without checking to see if Neji followed. He'd already agreed, and if he didn't, then he didn't. He also didn't bother walking quicker than normal – they were already wet.

When they reached his house, slipping off their shoes, Shikamaru was relieved to find out his mum had gone to a friend's house, and his dad had left for a mission before breakfast this morning. He wasn't sure why this relieved him, if only to avoid his mother's nagging and questioning why a member of one of Konoha's greatest clans was in their kitchen dripping water on the tiles.

Water. Right. He left the room, heading to the bathroom and grabbing two towels before heading back. Neji hadn't moved from just inside the door, looking around cautiously. Shikamaru noticed his unease but didn't mention it, instead throwing him one of the towels.

"Make yourself at home." He knew he wouldn't, but at least the invitation to relax was there. To be honest, Shikamaru didn't blame him. He'd probably be just as wary in the Hyuuga estate. Well, maybe not quite as wary, but Neji seemed to be a natural worrier to him.

He decided to let him get his bearings by himself, putting the Shougi board and pieces next to the fire to dry it. It was only a cheap set, after all. He headed to his bedroom to grab his spare, and was relieved to see that Neji had actually ventured further into the room when he came down. The Hyuuga was looking at some photographs with interest, but when Shikamaru entered the room he turned away and stepped back a step.

Ignoring him, he set up the board on the kitchen table. "Want something to eat?" Neji grunted. Deciding to take that as a yes, Shikamaru snatched some bottles of water, fruit and a couple of crisps he kept handy for Chouji. He threw them all on the kitchen table and began setting the pieces up to how they were before without looking up.

Shikamaru was grimly amused to note it was like taming the Nara's wild deer. You have to pretend you don't notice them, moving smoothly and carefully and making no noises. By the time everything was set up Neji had drank some of the water and was studying an apple dubiously.

Reaching for some crisps, Shikamaru said, "Your move."

A couple of minutes later, his eyes drifted to the Hyuuga's hair. The towel was resting over his shoulders so the hair dripped onto it instead of his back, but that didn't do anything to dry it. Shikamaru's own towel was wrapped around his hair turban style. He knew he looked like a girl, but it was better than catching a cold and Neji hadn't said anything.

"Your hair will take an age to dry."

Neji paused slightly, hand lifting a pierce, before continuing the movement. "That doesn't matter."

"It'll dry strange." Okay, now Shikamaru looked _and _sounded like a girl. By the small smirk on Neji's face, it was obvious he thought so too. Fortunately, he still didn't say anything.

"It always dries straight."

Shikamaru blinked, then smiled slowly. He couldn't wait to see Ino's face when he told her Neji had nicer hair than her without doing _anything_ while she must spend a good hour a day, at least. She'll blow a fuse.

The silence continued with the game, broken only by the constant patter of rain on the windows. He knew his mum wouldn't return until the downpour was over, if then. She was impossible to shut up when she got going. He'd been relieved to enter the Academy so she couldn't drag him along with her any more.

For some reason, all girls seemed to chatter a lot. Even the skilled kunoichi like Temari and Tenten talked too much. Speaking of Tenten, that reminded him of something he wanted to know.

"It's strange Tenten didn't wait for you."

Neji looked up, the expression on his face telling Shikamaru exactly what he felt was strange. Huh, if he could read him so well, Neji must have dropped his guard. That was…pleasing to know.

"Why?"

Was Neji really this dense? Maybe he just didn't understand social etiquette. "Because she's your girlfriend." Did Neji not grasp the concept?

A choking sound drew his attention up. Apparently his opponent had been taking a drink when Shikamaru had said that, and forgotten how to swallow. Neji took a couple of deep breaths before glaring at Shikamaru, clearly deciding to blame him. "_What?"_

"She's your girlfriend?" For some reason, Shikamaru was immensely satisfied at making Neji lose his composure. Of course, that stuck-up, stoic façade annoyed Shikamaru, but not enough to actually _care_. If Neji wanted to be an arrogant snob that was his choice. Why should he care if he actually looked human once in a while?

"What the hell makes you think _Tenten _is my girlfriend?!" Oh, that's right. Shikamaru had forgotten. Neji had three states of mind: superior, impassive and angry. He remembered him losing it, running at Hinata with the intention to kill. Coming at Naruto with everything he had because he dared to not give up like a good boy.

He didn't think Neji had quite reached _that _level of anger yet, but who knew? Just in case, Shikamaru decided to try and calm him down. He liked his chakra paths were they were, thank you very much. "So she isn't?"

"No!"

"Ah."

The glare burning a hole in him clearly stated Neji wanted a better explanation. Shikamaru was too busy working out this new puzzle to comply.

Ino had clearly said once that Neji was off-limits. Chouji had wondered why every girl was after Sasuke. She'd mentioned that some girls liked Neji too, but weren't allowed to go for him. He was someone else's.

At the time Shikamaru had thought that meant Tenten, but if they weren't going out? Of course, Tenten could have easily stated her claim without actually telling Neji, but just in case…

"Lee?"

The glare faltered, turning confused. "What about Lee?"

"Are you going out with him?"

Oh look, the glare was back and much, much stronger. "_No!_"

So it was Tenten then. The puzzle solved, Shikamaru turned back to the game. Neji, however, didn't seem quite as willing to let it go.

"Why would you suggest that I was…with _Lee_?" There was definite revulsion there. Personally, Shikamaru didn't blame him. Those eyebrows and hairstyle really didn't suit him.

It was troublesome to answer questions, but Neji hadn't made a move and Shikamaru had a feeling he'd have to give him what he wanted if they were going to finish the game. Honestly, he was like a women in that respect. "There's rivalry between you two. You're on the same team. You speak to him." Apart from Tenten, he was the only one Neji did speak to. It wasn't that great a leap.

"The same goes for Naruto and Sasuke!"

"Exactly."

Neji opened his mouth, frowned, and closed it. He seemed to consider that comment for a few moments before shaking his head sharply. Shikamaru smirked. Some people were so clueless.

Neji seemed to dismiss that topic, holding onto the original one like Akamaru to a bone. "But we are both male!"

Shikamaru looked at him blankly.

Neji glared at him pointedly.

The silence stretched.

"And?"

Neji blinked. "Men…do not-"

"Why not?" Shikamaru knew he had interrupted, but this was too good to pass out on. Surely the great genius of the Hyuuga wasn't this stupid? This oblivious? Just how sheltered _was _he?

That was the question, Shikamaru realised. How sheltered was Neji? Shikamaru had been giving the humiliating, never-ever-again sex talk by his dad and the threats that were his mum's version of a sex ed years ago. Had anyone ever done that for Neji? Without parents, with only a strict, distant uncle and an eccentric sensei, Shikamaru doubted it.

Had anyone ever told him relationships between two guys were normal, especially for shinobi who lived day to day and didn't have the luxury of discriminating where they got their few pleasures and comforts?

Neji didn't answer the question. He sat back and stared at Shikamaru and, like before, Shikamaru stared back. He let his sincerity and honesty overcome his usual boredom, let Neji see that he wasn't teasing him or joking, that he was being completely serious.

And Neji _was _a genius. He was a master at reading body language, at understanding a person just from they way they moved. At seeing underneath the underneath. It didn't take him long to determine that Shikamaru was telling the truth, then apply it to everything he had known previously. Shikamaru waited for his conclusion, waited to see whether Neji would decide he was right or wrong.

The answer came in a way Shikamaru was coming to expect. Neji reached out and moved a piece. Letting a small smile quirk one side of his mouth, he countered, and the came was on again.

About ten minutes later, a voice slightly quieter than usual but with the same confidence and arrogance as normal asked, "Chouji?"

He didn't need to have it expanded. "No." Chouji was a good friend, true, his best friend, but that was all.

"Ino?"

There was a split second pause, where even the rain seemed to stop falling. Shikamaru looked up, eyes wide in horror.

Then collapsed into hysterics.

When he was still laughing thirty seconds later, Neji huffed, "I'll take that as a no."

But as Shikamaru looked up, wiping the tears out of his eyes, he noticed that despite the tone of voice and stern set of his mouth, there was something light and amused in those colourless eyes.

And Shikamaru knew he was grinning inside, and so he grinned back.

* * *

Shikamaru won the game, naturally.

And his mum yelled at him for the puddle on the kitchen floor.

Remembering the almost-smile, he decided it was worth the lecture.

* * *

**A/N: This is the first in a series of oneshots about the relationship between Shikamaru and Neji. It will eventually become yaoi - this is your one and only warning. It's my first Naruto fanfiction, and only my second ever fanfic, so I'd appreciate some feedback. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it. **


	2. Dancing in the Rain

**Watching Clouds and Birds**

**'Dancing' in the Rain**

Shikamaru was currently irked. It was a mixture of irritation, boredom and a faint indignation that was probably groundless. It was just...he thought being made Chuunin meant he didn't have to do troublesome missions like finding Naruto for Hokage-sama. The moron could be _anywhere_ in Konoha. Or lost outside it, knowing him.

He'd tried the usual suspects. Ichiraku, the bridge, the hospital, the Bathhouse, his apartment (which had a suspicious smell he didn't want to identify) and now he was going through the training grounds. Of course, being a ninja village, there were a _lot_ of public ones.

Still, it was better than listening to Ino complain about having no one to drool over any more. Or watching Chouji drool over what he hoped were crisps and not a certain loud, blonde kunoichi.

Approaching his fifth field and trying to work out how to make Naruto pay for this, he sensed someone's chakra ahead. It was familiar, which really didn't narrow it down that much. Turning the corner, he blinked.

Neji Hyuuga stood in front of a log, doing striking exercises. Presumably even prodigies like him needed to do repetitive exercises to train the body. From the stains on the padding on the log, and the sweat dripping over his skin, he'd been there a while.

"Neji," he called. The other didn't start, but that wasn't a surprise. He'd probably seen Shikamaru approach.

Walking forward, he stopped a few metres away and waited while Neji finished his set. He noticed darker areas on the bandaged hands where he'd bled through, and how he hit the log with more force than necessary.

Finally he stopped and turned, nodding. "Shikamaru," he greeted, panting.

"Hey. You seen Naruto?"

The other shook his head. "Not since yesterday."

Shikamaru frowned, then realisation struck. "Right, you had a mission with him."

Neji nodded, turning away slightly to tighten the loosened bandages on his arm. Coincidentally, this meant he couldn't meet Shikamaru's gaze. The boy frowned lightly, eyeing him. Something was wrong.

"Was it successful?"

Neji paused slightly. "It was."

Shikamaru continued to stare, and Neji moved his left foot slightly. If he didn't know better, he'd say the other boy was uncomfortable. "Well, good."

There was silence. Shikamaru began to wonder if he should politely leave when Neji looked up, finally meeting his eyes casually, like he hadn't just been avoiding them. "Naruto defeated the enemy."

Now, _that _was a curious statement. Not I, or we. _Naruto._ Shikamaru looked at him, wondering why the emphasise. Why Neji felt the need to stress the fact that Naruto had defeated the enemy. Why Naruto had been needed to defeat the enemy.

…Ahh. _Naruto_ had been needed, because Neji wasn't strong enough by himself. That explained it. Of course Neji would be the type to take something like that to heart, to work harder, punish himself.

Then again, weren't all the genin facing that mindset? _Have to get stronger, better, faster. Can't fail this time, next time, any time. Have to be the best. More, more, more. _

Shikamaru smirked. "He has a habit of taking over, huh?"

Neji just looked at him, then smirked back in agreement.

Shikamaru looked at the boy, debating an issue in his mind. He didn't really know the other that well. Sure, they'd played a few games of Shougi, had talking occasionally during them, but he still didn't know him. Then again, what was there to know? He'd been there for the Chuunin exam, probably knew just as much about Neji as anyone, including his team. Heck, maybe even more. Did Neji even socialise with his team outside of missions and training?

_I might as well. Who else is around that understands, and is willing to speak to him? After all, we're both in the same situation. _

"I'm almost grateful to Sasuke, you know."

Neji blinked, then shot him a look that clearly said 'you're an idiot', and he smirked. He knew what it sounded like, but it was true. "That mission – it was a complete failure. But it made me see I couldn't just coast any more. I'm a Chuunin, which means I'm responsible for others. I _have_ to be stronger. Otherwise my team will suffer."

Neji was staring at him in surprise. Slowly, he nodded, eyes glazing over slowly as he remembered the mission. Thinking of his injuries, and how close he'd been to death, the memories probably weren't too pleasant.

"I need to be stronger, so next time, I won't let my team down."

Neji frowned slightly. "Shikamaru, you-" He stopped, hesitating, before continuing. "We were six Genin-level, against five Jounin-level and another Genin. And we all came back. It may not have been a success, but the mission was not a failure."

Shikamaru was starting to regret starting this topic of conversation. The wound was barely healed, and here he was ripping it open again. It was something he was embarrassingly emotional about, but Neji's words woke something in him that was reluctant to let this go. "You almost di-"

"I lived." Neji's voice was firm. "I lived, and am stronger for it. And that is due to you."

It wasn't; Shikamaru knew he had nothing to do with Neji and Chouji's survival. It was because they were strong, strong enough to win, to survive a danger Shikamaru had put them in. But despite that, he almost felt lighter, as if a weight had been lifted. Maybe it was the fact that Neji didn't blame him.

Instead of arguing, he just nodded, and looked away. Neji did the same. Obviously the thoughts had been plaguing both of them for a while, otherwise neither would have spoken about it. Sometimes the water just gets too heavy, and the dam bursts.

Maybe it would have been easier to cope with if Shikamaru could have talked to someone, but adults didn't cry to their parents any more, and no matter how old you were, when you left the Academy you were an adult. Ino hadn't been there, wouldn't understand, and Shikamaru felt too guilty to even mention the topic to Chouji. He remembered the first thing his friend had said to him after waking up – _I showed you were a good leader, didn't I?. _– and sometimes felt sick thinking that Chouji had almost died because of him.

But Neji understood. He'd been there, had been as close to dying as Chouji, and understood without Shikamaru having to explain. Despite all the previous missions, all the training, all the injuries and scares and kills, it hadn't been real.

But that mission; that mission where they would have all been wiped out if it hadn't been for the Sand Shinobi, it had made everything abundantly clear. This wasn't a game, or a way to pass the time – it was real. It was deadly. And to survive, they all had to be so much more stronger.

"I should have just worked with the family deer. Or become a medic-nin. This is far too troublesome." His sigh was weary and rueful.

Neji looked at him, and smirked. "You wouldn't give it up."

Shikamaru thought back to that moment in the hospital, when he was sure he'd killed two members of his team. When he was responsible for a terrible failure and thought he couldn't do it again. Wasn't good enough to lead, wasn't strong enough, just wasn't enough to be a shinobi. He would have walked then. Maybe he would have come back, or maybe that mission would have been his last, but for that moment, waiting to hear the news that his best friend was dead, he was certain

But now? "No. I wouldn't give it up." Not until he had proved…no, not ever.

Silence fell once more, but this time it was comfortable. Easy. The awkwardness that Shikamaru would have expected from such a raw conversation didn't appear, and he let himself relax.

"Naruto…" Neji trailed off, seeming uncomfortable. But then his back straightened, and he looked Shikamaru straight in the eyes, as if gaining confidence. "Naruto told me about your fight in the third exam. You surrendered before you could lose."

Shikamaru nodded, wondering where he was going with this.

"I wondered…why you kept going on the mission. Even after you knew we'd have to be sacrificed one by one. Why you would risk it."

Shikamaru looked away. It was something he wondered about as well. To be honest, he still didn't really understand. Unless, foolishly, he'd clung on to…"Hope. I'd hoped we'd succeed." He chuckled darkly. "I guess I calculated wrong."

Neji didn't answer, but there were no recriminations on his face. No blame. No anger. Just an acceptance that faded into his habitual composed expression. A silence fell that seemed relieved, all the unanswered questions and unspoken words quietened for once.

After a couple of minutes, Neji shifted on his feet. He looked towards the training grounds, then at Shikamaru. "Would you like to spar?" he asked politely. Nothing in his voice gave away what they had just been discussing.

Shikamaru realised this was his way of being friendly and returning the gesture of openness. He also realised that Neji was, at least in hand to hand combat, far superior to Shikamaru, and it would be far too troublesome to actually spar with him. But how to say no without seeming to reject Neji's attempts at friendship?

"You know, Ino sometimes calls sparring dancing."

Neji stared "What?"

Turning his head to the side, Shikamaru hid a smirk. "When two opponents of reasonably equal skill spar against each other, it does look like they're doing an intricate, carefully choreographed dance." Especially the way Neji fights. Smooth, quick and graceful, each movement perfectly controlled and elegant. Beautiful to watch.

He dared to look back at the Hyuuga's face, and almost laughed at the expression of barely-suppressed horror. "That…that is untrue!" Neji spluttered.

"Not really." He made sure to keep his voice casual. "Ino says sparring can sometimes look pretty."

Neji's eyes widened, and then narrowed. Apparently he had picked up on the fact that he was being teased. "Then would you like to see how well you dance, Shikamaru?" His voice was dangerously calm.

"Ah." An almost inaudible crack, the distant sound of splashing, and Shikamaru felt drops sliding down his neck. Looking up just in time to get another raindrop in his eye, he held in a sigh of relief. "Look at that, it's raining."

"That seems to happen a lot around us," Neji replied, voice suspicious. Shikamaru laughed it off. It wasn't like Neji could blame him for the weather, after all.

"Maybe another day, huh?"

He felt his heart sink as a smug smirk crept over Neji's face. "Shikamaru, have you never trained in the rain before? That's a terrible oversight in your training. Who is your sensei?"

Shikamaru stared at him, hearing the unspoken threat. "Well, of course I've trained in the –"

"Then you have no problem in sparring in the rain, of course."

Shikamaru looked helplessly at him. "…of course."

* * *

This time, it was Neji who won the match between them.

Shikamaru returned home, bruised, battered and wet, and vowed to win the next one.

* * *

**A/N: This one was harder, 'cause I had to show their relationship progressing. That meant that had to talk, but being Shika and Neji, not too much otherwise it would run into OOCness. I hope I got the balance right. This is after the mission where Naruto joins Team Gai to fight Raiga, one of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist. Basically, Neji gets knocked out in the final battle and Naruto (as usual) saves the day. I just thought that Neji, being an obsessive, independant perfectionist, would be mad at himself for this.**

**Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed! They made me smile, and made me finish this chapter off. Thanks: ****_SunSlayerMoonSlaughter, KT, essenceofthedark, eat.it.in.the.kitchen, BrevityofWit, _****_dimonyo-anghel_****_, souko, Hanai-Kun, Dreamsofdragons and kaylakaiba. _**


	3. I Have a Dream

**Watching Clouds and Birds**

**I Have a Dream **

Neji looked up at the sun. Two hours, and counting. He smirked inwardly, amused at his own stupidity. Hinata's obsession must be catching.

Thinking about Hinata bought the memory of this morning's spar, sweat and adrenaline and the still lingering urge to flick his chakra in a way that would make her choke and gasp and bleed…

He took a deep breath, banishing the memories. It was training for the both of them – Hinata would improve and he…he would stop seeing her as a target to take out his anger at the main house on. Already, as he saw her determination to continue, her speed and her graceful movements, he was seeing her as a person. A kounichi.

A blur of darkness against the endless green of grass caught his eye. Moving his head slightly, he saw a figure lying on the ground. That spiky, messy hairdo told him who it was.

He debated inwardly, steps never faltering. It was not in his nature to go out of his way to speak to people. In fact, he avoided it as much as possible. Even tolerable people such as Tenten would irritate him after a while. Yet he found himself wanting to ask the Nara when they would next play Shougi.

Then he realised his body had moved while his mind had been debating, and he was now just a few feet away from that inert body. Neji had learnt to trust his instincts, and right now they were leading him to the lazy shinobi. With an invisible shrug, he continued forward.

Shikamaru obviously noticed his approach. Dark eyes flicked in his direction, which was more an acknowledgement than an identification. Then they focused back on their target. Following the gaze, Neji found nothing.

A slight movement drew his attention back, as a hand waved slowly at the ground next to Shikamaru. Neji considered the invitation. By now he knew that Shikamaru was too lazy for pranks or maliciousness, and tended to be genuine simply because anything else took up his energy. The grass was muddy, and Neji was wearing white. He tended to avoid stains whenever possible – being a shinobi, the opportunities for remaining clean were few and far between. He cherished them.

Then he realised how idiotic he would look standing up, and decided being dirty would be better than enduring Shikamaru's taunting looks.

Kneeling down primly, shoulders back, spine straight, hands laid flat on knees, he once more followed Shikamaru's gaze. Still nothing.

It was too early to ask. Neji wanted to investigate more. His eyes turned to Shikamaru's face, calculating and cataloguing. It was one of his greatest talents, and many wondered whether it was from the _byakugen _or whether it was just a quirk of his. He could read secrets and thoughts from the minimal movements of the face and body. Nothing was hidden from his eyes.

Except Shikamaru's face was blank, calm, placid. Eyes were half-lidden in sleepy peace, muscles loose and lax. There were no secrets and thoughts to be read from him because there _were _no secrets and thoughts. The knowledge irritated Neji.

Finally deciding to react to the scrutiny, Shikamaru let his head fall to the side, as if moving his eyeballs would be too tiring and he had to let gravity work for him. There was a question in those dark eyes.

"What are you looking at?" Neji demanded. No sign that he was been defeated showed in his tone, but he knew, and he thought Shikamaru knew, and that's what mattered.

Shikamaru turned back, as if the question was too stupid to answer. Maybe, to him, it was. "Clouds," he finally mumbled.

Neji blinked, then looked up. Sure enough, there were numerous fluffy clouds floating around in the sky. He couldn't see any dark ones. "They aren't rain clouds," he pointed out.

Shikamaru inclined his head. "I know."

Now Neji was perplexed. He looked up again, as if the answer would appear to him. Nope. Still the same white clouds. Maybe he was one of those people who believed you could read the future in the clouds? Nephelomancy, it was called. Neji had always had an interest in fortune-telling – probably a by-product of the Destiny fixation. Whether he believed in it was a different story.

Looking at Shikamaru, however, he couldn't see him believing in it. He seemed much more interested in the solid than the abstract. So what was the interest in the clouds?

"Are you waiting for a messenger bird?"

Shikamaru smirked. "I'm watching the clouds, Neji."

White eyes narrowed. Shikamaru knew his predicament perfectly, and was taking delight in it. He knew he wouldn't get an answer unless he actually _asked_. And Neji hated asking anything. It implied interest, intimacy, a connection.

Silence. Stubborn as always – Naruto did not cure everything, he was not God – Neji stared at the sky along with Shikamaru. Maybe if he stared long enough he would understand. There was an itch in the back of his neck, a twitching in his muscles, that told him he had better things to be doing than sitting looking at nothing. He never simply sat, and his body didn't like it. But this was a mystery, and he was determined to solve it.

Movement, darker and quicker than clouds, caught his attention. The urge to _do something _left as he saw the three birds. Dark, small. Sparrows maybe. Helpless, weak, useless. And yet they were flying, soaring, ducking and weaving. He followed each of their movements with eyes powerful and sharp even without chakra.

Noise startled him out of his trance. "What are you looking at?" No demand this time, instead it was full of lazy amusement.

"Birds," he answered.

As if it was a magic word, Shikamaru's gaze flicked up slightly before dropping back to Neji's face. The movement was small, but Neji noticed, and his forehead burnt. Not for the first time he regretted spurting out his greatest shame and secret in front of hundreds of shinobi, most of which with excellent hearing and the ability to read lips. It had happened when he let emotions overcome him, and he once more vowed silently to always, _always _keep his cool. Control, he knew, was paramount to a shinobi, and to a Hyuuga.

As one they both turned away towards the sky.

The birds danced across the sun, and he automatically noticed the position. He was surprised an hour had already passed. Did he really spend so long simply looking upwards. "One hour," he murmured.

Shikamaru glanced at him, but Neji didn't look down. "'til what?"

Neji thought about his answer. "The village finds its quiet."

A few seconds, then Shikamaru smirked, obviously amused. "I guess Konoha will be quieter without Naruto."

"Less bright." It was an admittance, but one Neji refused to feel embarrassed about. It was only the truth after all, he reassured himself, and ignored the feeling that it was weakness.

"That too," Shikamaru agreed. There was silence, and the Nara seemed to be struggling with something. "I guess, I might slightly miss him. Slightly."

Neji wasn't close friends with Naruto. Perhaps not even friends at all, though the blond whirlwind would probably disagree with that thought. But he thought that he, too, might miss him. Just slightly. "Three years will go by quick, and we will grow stronger."

Shikamaru groaned quietly. "More training. More work. More missions. More trouble."

Smirking, Neji looked over at his companion. "Of course." Then a thought occurred to him, something that had been on his mind for weeks now, and he decided to voice it. After all, it concerned Shikamaru, and almost certainly the boy had already thought of this. "Have you noticed they seem to be…preparing us?"

Shikamaru didn't ask who. It was obvious. However, it was the only thing in that question that was. "For what?" It could be any number of things, some innocent, seem dark and deadly, and he wasn't sure he really wanted to know.

"For leadership," Neji answered, and Shikamari felt an illogical pang of relief. "Us and Shino are leading most of our missions. As if we are being prepared to lead a platoon or squad."

"The Jounins are busy doing missions," Shikamaru pointed out. "Someone needs to lead."

Neji shook his head. "If that was the case, they'd rotate the leadership. Give everyone experience. No, they're preparing us."

Shikamaru shrugged carelessly. "Is that a bad thing?"

"I'm not sure." Neji was, by nature and nurture, a cynic. He wondered what else the powers that be were preparing them for.

"I wonder," Shikamaru drawled lazily. "Would Sasuke have been Team 7's leader?"

Neji opened his mouth to agree before pausing. He knew Naruto, or at least thought he did. Naruto didn't like being told what to do, especially by his rival. Shikamaru smirked. "Not so easy to answer, is it?"

Neji nodded. "In our teams, there was a clear leader among the genins. Despite Lee's challenging of me, he always listened in missions."

"And Chouji and Ino followed my lead."

"But maybe Team 7 did it differently. Maybe Sasuke and Naruto both led. Together. If so, it would explain why Naruto finds it so hard to follow orders when accompanying other teams on missions."

The other smirked. "Nahh, it's just because he's troublesome."

Neji's mouth quirked, and they exchanged amused expressions.

Shikamaru sat up, surprising Neji despite the fact he did it _very _slowly, as if gravity was too strong a foe. Sitting with his legs half bent, he stretched. Neji absently watched as the mesh shirt rode up his back.

"Well," Shikamaru yawned. "At least he has an aim."

Naruto had more than one. Neji knew Shikamaru was referring to his long-term plan, and nodded. "One of which he will achieve." His voice was quiet and even, perfectly confident in that belief.

The lazy boy blinked, startled. "You think so?" Neji didn't strike him as one to put faith in others.

"I hope so."

He cocked an eyebrow. "Why?" There was blatant curiosity in his voice. He watched as Neji turned his head away, and the silence stretched. It didn't appear that Neji was going to answer him, and he wasn't surprised. The Hyuuga was intensely private. It was a miracle he spoke at all, let alone about personal matters.

When Neji finally spoke, there was no hesitation in his voice. After making his decision to confess, he went forward with certainty. "He made a promise to me. And only by keeping his promise can I achieve my dream."

"Your dream?" Shikamaru kept his voice casual, concealing his intense interest.

"To change the Hyuuga." Neji's voice was soft. "To erase the barrier between the Main and Branch houses."

It was a huge dream. An impossible dream. To change the fundamentals of a clan as old and traditional as the Hyuuga? But Neji was practical, methodical, realistic. Shikamaru knew he wouldn't hold onto an impossible dream. He knew he probably shouldn't pry. But he couldn't help it. "How?"

For long minutes, Neji didn't answer. Inside he was wrestling with himself. A voice inside railed angrily at him for speaking so much, for even daring to have some a dream. Was furious that Neji thought he could do something as outrageous as change his clan. He hadn't told anyone this. Not even Tenten. And he hadn't planned to.

But…but Shikamaru was listening. And he was smart, smarter than Neji, although he was loath to admit it. Perhaps he could help? And, he had to have this dream. He had to have this dream because a smart bird would learn how to open his cage, and Neji considered himself smart.

He wanted to open the cage.

He wanted to fly.

"I'll become a member of Anbu. The first branch member in decades to have such a prestigious post. I'll gain respect, support, by becoming a strong and influential shinobi. I'll bring honour to the Hyugga and to the Branch house.

Hinata will become Clan head. She also wishes to abolish the Branch house. We've never spoken of it, but I can tell. She wants the clan to be strong, and Hyuuga will never be truly strong until all members are enabled to reach their potential.

And Naruto will become Hokage. He will fulfil his promise of changing the Hyuuga, because he always says he fulfils his promises. And I have faith in him. Together, we will achieve the impossible."

Then he ducked his head slightly, eyes following the path of a bird in the sky rather than the expressive twitches on Shikamaru's face. Because Neji could see what others could not, and the slightest flicker of the eye or movement of the head could show scorn, disapproval, disbelief, and dreaming was too new and precious to survive that.

Better to be blind, for once, than to have his tentative hopes destroyed.

And while he kept his posture straight, keeping the muscles from tensing, his body from reacting, inside he waited anxiously. And he didn't examine too closely why he was so anxious. After all, what did he care for a lazy chuunin's opinion?

"A three-pronged attack," Shikamaru murmured. "Often effective." Pause. "And Naruto has experience in achieving the impossible."

Was that approval? Encouragement? Nothing at all? Why was this boy so difficult to read?

Shikamaru watched, quietly, as Neji warred with himself. Not that the conflict was shown, of course, but the silence was telling. Besides, Shikamaru knew how painful it must be, for someone as private as Neji to open himself up like that.

In truth, he was grateful for the pause. It gave him time to gather himself, from the surprise and amazement.

And the guilt. It was low in his stomach, but heavy and thick. Neji wanted to change his clan. He wanted to do something great, and was willing to take a job that was difficult, dangerous and harrowing. There was a reason most Anbu didn't last more than five years. The death rate was high, and the missions emotionally traumatising. It was a sacrifice, becoming one, and Neji was committing that sacrifice for his clan.

And what of Shikamaru? He hadn't even wanted to become a chuunin. He would have been happy staying as a genin his whole life, making just enough money to be comfortable and to supported a wife and children. He wanted an easy, average, safe life. The contrast between him and Neji were gaping, and shaming.

Then again, he thought, that had been my dream before. Now, it is different. After _that _mission, Shikamaru was no longer happy staying as he was. Because if he was going to be put in charge of people, if he was going to have their lives in his hands, then he had to be the best he could be. He owed it to them to be a strong shinobi.

That was his aim, now. Not just to float along, but to get better. To be worthy of leading others, so he would never again have to hear that two of his team were critically injured and may not survive.

And he was getting better. He had learned from his mistakes, as that mission to rescue the Suna shinobi had shown. While Gaara had done most of the fighting, there had been few injuries, and those Sakura had healed. It was proof – he could be better.

"I want," he started quietly, "to be a great strategist. To think quicker than my enemies, so I can always outsmart them." Not for fame, or glory, of strength. But because he owed it to his team mates, his comrades, his friends.

Neji dipped his chin, once more looking at Shikamaru. For a moment, it seemed that the earth had stilled, as white eyes met brown and they both found calm in the other's gazes. Then he nodded slightly, and the corner of his lips curved.

"It will be done."

_Yes, _Shikamaru agreed. _Just wait and see. By the time Naruto comes back, we'll all be stronger. Better. Just wait and see. _

He glanced up at the sky, and blinked as he saw the position of the sun. "Hey," he drawled. "Isn't it almost time?"

A quick jerk of the eyes confirmed it for Neji, and he nodded before rising. "Are you coming as well?"

A low sigh, before Shikamaru painstakingly pushed himself up. "So troublesome."

"We won't see him for almost three years," Neji pointed it.

"Good. Maybe there'll be peace and quiet for once."

As they began walking away, Neji smirked. "With Lee and Kiba around?"

Pause. "Good point. We'll never have peace and quiet."

And maybe that was a good thing. After all, it was action and chaos that caused them to grow and reach higher. And it was the threat of danger and conflict that made them so determined to be the best they could be. Shikamaru sent a glance at the clouds, so peaceful and eternal, and smiled softly.

_Just wait and see_.

* * *

**A/N: Woah, that took me a long time. Apoligies. Anyway, excuse me if you think this is OOC, or unrealistic. But I honestly think Neji would have a dream like this. Whether or not the dream is possible, I don't know. I hope it is. **

**The relationship is progressing more. I'm planning on first kiss in next chapter. By the way, do not expect kisses then declarations of love and happy endings. I'm planning on making the road _much _stickier than that. **

**Thank you to all those who read and reviewed - feedback always makes me happy. Thanks: **_**Hanai-kun****Dreamsofdragons****SunSlayerMoonSlaughter****dimonyo-anghel****Rascal609****eat.it.in.the.kitchen.****BrevityofWit****, KT, ****essenceofthedark****anchovies**_**and**_**shinidanie**_


	4. Fight Shadows with Shadows

**Watching Clouds and Birds**

**Fight Shadows with Shadows**

There was something about stars that could make even the strongest shinobi feel insignificant. After all, no matter how strong his _byakugan _grew, the stars would never look bigger. To everyone, civilian or sannin, the stars were just points of light in the sky.

Neji tried not to do this too often. He used to brood a lot, about the main house and the curse and that pulsating anger. But the fire had been cooled by the absent Naruto, and he knew it wasn't healthy to grow too maudlin. But sometimes he couldn't help it.

He turned from the stars, to his own hands. Hands that were, he knew, too feminine and soft. Deceptive. He could see the blood dried under his nails, clinging even after being scrubbed. The points of his fingers were sore and cracked, and the fingers were bruised. Signs of a fight, signs that these seemingly weak hands had killed, and would kill again.

And wasn't it one of his life's great ironies that his survival was based around the deaths of others?

He reached up, fingers tracing the familiar sign of the leaf on his hitai-ate. The comforting blanket that hid his shame and hate. A mark of that dark venom that had coursed through his veins. That could run again if he dwelled too hard.

Then they dropped to his vest. A mark of his new status, of strength, of responsibility, of maturity, of independence.

Of pain and suffering and failed dreams and lost hopes and _death_.

"You're missing the party."

His hands jerked and every muscle stiffened as the voice came infuriatingly close. Stupid, _stupid, stupid! _What kind of shinobi was he, to let someone sneak up on him? Never mind that he was in the village, and should be safe. It was foolish and just begging to be killed. _Stupid. _

"There'll be other parties."

For Tenten, and Chouji, and Kiba and all those others who hadn't quite made the grain this time.

Shikamaru settled next to him, far too comfortable for Neji's liking. People were not comfortable around him. They were nervous, awkward, wary, inferior. Never comfortable.

Tenten was used to him, true, but she was still fully aware of him when they were near. Lee…well, Lee was too dense to truly understand _why _he ought to be more wary around him. But they were teammates, and it was expected that they would be used to his presence.

When had Shikamaru fallen into that category? When had their relationship made transgressions between them easy, natural? Why hadn't he noticed?

"This is what you wanted."

Ah, yes. The stepping stone to success, and the eventual unification of his clan. Not his freedom, it was too late for that, but perhaps his children. His grand dreams, resting on the shoulders of a timid, weak girl and a moron obsessed with a destructive time-bomb. Was this what he wanted?

He was a fool. He was a fool who was still childish enough to dream of candyfloss clouds and syrup suns. He was a fool, and one day he will die on a mission, alone, unfulfilled, bitter, and the world will be no different for his passing. The world didn't stop turning when a shinobi died. The ranks didn't stop being given. The parties didn't end.

"Mm."

Go away. He didn't know what to do with Shikamaru, didn't know what their relationship was. What were they? Who were they?

"Sakura's drunk, courtesy of Ino. Kiba's encouraging them, and Lee is eyeing the sake. It's troublesome in there."

Did Shikamaru think he was stupid? Maybe he didn't have the one thousand IQ the genius had, but he had been at the top of his class, and he was not a moron. A fool, yes, but not a moron.

Maybe that was the problem. Look what Naruto, inarguably a moron, could do. Maybe it was all his intelligence's fault.

"I don't need a babysitter." His voice was as cold as he could make it. He had experience with coldness. The icy winter as he destroyed Lee's dreams, saying he would always be weak. The artic sheets as he crushed Hinata, showing her weaknesses for the world to see. The bleak frosts as he declared Naruto could never achieve his dream.

Neji was good at destroying dreams.

"Then it's fortunate I'm not a babysitter." Shikamaru's voice was cool, patient. There wasn't a hint of condensation in it, but Neji heard it anyway. Heard it in his uncle's voice, in the family as they looked down on the arrogant upstart. In his opponent as he asked how a leaf child could ever hope to overcome him.

"All the teams have a Chuunin in them now. They'll start giving us harder missions."

Harder missions. More chances to grow stronger, to be more powerful, to be hurt and die, to kill. Once Neji would have felt triumphant at this sign that he was advancing. But now he knew there was only one thing he was advancing to. He wasn't that eager to die yet.

Shikamaru sighed, almost silent but still obvious. He was becoming exasperated. Good. Maybe if he became annoyed enough, he'd leave. His presence was jarring. It replaced stars with clouds, mud with grass, blood with alcohol, death with life. Neji didn't want the replacements.

"Neji…" It was funny how even a genius couldn't think of what to say. Neji tried to keep ignoring him, hoping if he stayed detached he'd be left alone. But there was a note in the voice, in that one word that added something to his simple, cursed name. A plea. Neji had never heard Shikamaru _ask _for something before.

Despite the warning in his head, the roaring in his eyes, the darkness in his eyes that threatened to overshadow his valued reason and calm, he turned his head.

Shikamaru was looking at him. Dark eyes wide awake, placid and easy. There was no exasperation, no annoyance, no impatience. Neji didn't want to read those eyes, didn't want to know what the Nara was thinking, but he couldn't help it. It was one of his _gifts_, his genius, and despite himself, he easily saw what was in those eyes.

Concern.

Damn him. Damn that lazy, stupid, worthless Nara. What right did he have to feel anything for Neji? To sit there beside him? To look at him? He was nothing, a lowly shinobi from a tiny clan with one shadow trick. He was so far below him it was disgusting, pathetic. How dare _he _feel concern for Neji?

They were nothing. Acquaintances only. Comrades, as every shinobi in the village was a comrade. One of hundreds others, nothing special at all. So maybe they'd talked a few times. Played a few games. Sparred a couple of times. It was nothing. They weren't even friends. They didn't even like each other.

Shikamaru kept looking. Steady. Patient. There, always there, could be relied on to _be _there. And Naruto was great and amazing and a saviour, yes, but he didn't really understand what he had done for Neji, and he was away, and wasn't dependable at all. Nothing to put your hopes and dreams and soul and heart into.

But Shikamaru was there. He'd trained with him before the exam. Watched avidly from the stands. Was here now, watching, waiting. Reliable, dependable, trustworthy, _there_.

And Neji broke.

He didn't cry, because boys didn't cry, shinobi didn't cry, Hyuuga's didn't cry, so many, many reasons and pressures and chains not to cry. He didn't cry, despite the aching weight in his head.

But the ice in his eyes fell away, revealing puddles of what he used to be. He looked away, away from that painful concern, to those feminine, bloody, deadly hands. Watched them clench so hard he felt it in his bones, and marvelled distantly at his lack of control.

He should be ashamed, disgusted, humiliated. And he would be, later. But right now there was weight and pressure and darkness and a distant screaming and the recent memory of blood and death mapped onto the other memories and his precious control had fallen apart at the seams.

"He just wanted to be a Chuunin."

Just like all of them. There was no difference between him and the Rookie Nine, Team Gai, Sand Shinobi or any of them. No difference at all, except he was in a different village and wouldn't give up. He kept seeing a blonde head and felt sick, thinking of the possibilities, the what-ifs.

"He attacked you with lethal intent."

He was stubborn. Couldn't give up. Was willing to kill for his dream. Probably wasn't willing to die for it, but he didn't get that choice now, did he?

"He fought."

"And he died. It's the risk we all take."

Life of a shinobi. Cost of survival.

"But, between me and him…was it worth it? Am I worth it?"

Neji didn't like to believe in Fate, didn't like to spit in Naruto's face like that, but it was hard to totally wipe out eight year's of belief and hatred and conditioning, and at times like this he still fell back to that mindset. And if it was Fate that one would come out of that match dead, why not him? Why was he a better choice for survival than the other?

"For a genius, you're not very smart." Shikamaru's voice was cool, a hint of amusement, of mockery, of irritation, and Neji wondered how much was honest feelings and how much was manufactured especially for that statement.

Neji cocked his head, felt hair fall over his shoulders, and looked in the general direction of the Nara while still missing actually _looking _at him. The question was obvious if unspoken.

"It isn't about worth. It's about strength."

Of course. Strength. Because _everything _about their lives was about that word, that sentiment, that _fucking _noose. Strength. Damn it, damn Shikamaru for mentioning it, damn Neji for believing in it. Their god, their ambition, their love, their funeral. _Strength. _

His hands clenched harder, and felt fresh blood join the dried in his nails. Just another reminder. Another stain.

"So the weak deserve to die?"

This wasn't Shikamaru's fault, not really. Maybe their relationship was his fault, because how could _Neji _be comfortable with someone? But this conversation, this situation, this darkness…that was all Neji. Still, he was there, and he wasn't leaving, and this painful words sharper than senbon were coming out of his mouth and Neji didn't really care about fault or blame any more.

"No." Shikamaru looked at him, managed to catch his eye. Dark to light, a juxtaposition that was all wrong. Shikamaru may be dark and shadows but he was kind and sweet and there was no overwhelming darkness inside him. It was all wrong. "But they do."

Neji couldn't look away. There was comfort in those dark eyes. An anchor, keeping him connected to this world, even if he wasn't sure he wanted to stay. No flinch, no wariness – even shinobi's avoided looking into the Hyuuga eyes occasionally. White, pupiless eyes were unnatural, unnerving. But there was no hesitation or avoidance in Shikamaru's eyes. He didn't care.

Or maybe he did. Maybe he did care. Maybe he cared too much.

And Neji couldn't really handle that. His father had cared, and his father had died. Hinata had cared, but he'd almost killed her. Naruto had cared, but he was gone. Neji didn't know what to do when people cared. Didn't want to handle that pain, because he wasn't strong, not really, he was weak and soft and one day he'll day and be just another memory, just another stain.

And what would it matter? What did it matter? What did he matter?

And since their eyes were still connected, Neji could see the surprise that lit in Shikamaru's eyes, and he knew he had spoken out loud. No control now, not even over his mouth, certainly none over Shikamaru but there was no room for more hatred and self-loathing so he'd save that for later.

Those dark eyes became hard, determined, steel, and Neji could see the shinobi in him. Sometimes he wondered, amongst the laziness and the kindness and the good-natured exasperation if there was a shinobi in there, but he could see it now. Those eyes came closer, until everything else had faded out and all those mattered was that warm, comforting, blanketing darkness.

"You matter to me."

Such a strange thing to say, a strange sentiment, both for a boy and a ninja, but Neji had more important things to worry about. Like the lips pressing against his, firm and hard and stabilising. And the taste of blood was replaced by an earthy, life-filled taste. And there was nothing to worry about.

Neji's eyes closed, focusing everything on that connection. His being joined to another's so he wouldn't drift off away from the ground. He was here, and Shikamaru was there, and the darkness felt less significant.

The longer the kiss lasted, the quieter his panic became, and Neji began to find his calm. Calm in the meeting of lips. Both mouths were slightly open, breathing in the other, lips moving slowly, languidly. A slightly harder press, and his hands felt flat on his legs. The feeling of hot breath, and his heartbeat slowed down. The slight flick on a tongue, and his control began to mend itself.

It still ached, and shuddered, and the darkness was still there. But as the lips moved apart, and the connection broke, Neji was himself again.

Because yes, there was death and pain and cold and suffering and loneliness.

But there was life and comfort and heat and joy and Shikamaru.

His eyes opened, light met dark once more, and a thousand messages passed from one to the other. Shikamaru smiled slightly, inclined his head, and sat back.

Neji took in a deep breath. He could feel the questions and thoughts rolling in the back of his head, but he pushed them away. Not now. He had a reprieve now, and he would take it. He would break down later, when it had space and perspective and the rigid formalities of the Hyuuga estate to caution him.

"I better make sure Ino isn't being too troublesome."

He stood slowly, and took a couple of careful steps make, languid as all of Shikamaru's movements are. Neji nodded.

He didn't understand their relationship, couldn't label it. But he did know that it had changed tonight. Something had shifted, evolved. Maybe he'd regret it, or maybe it would be something beautiful. Neji didn't know. And right now, it wasn't important.

Now he had to make sure Lee didn't destroy the bar in a drunken frenzy, and reassure Tenten that she'd make Chuunin in the next exam, and smirk with Shikamaru over their friends' antics.

Right now it was time to live.

* * *

**A/N: Phew. That was difficult to write. Sorry for the angst, but I've had a couple of cute ones, and I figured it was time for some reality. I thought you could infer what has happened from the text, but if anyone's confused drop me a message and I'll explain. **

**Neji seems calm in Shippuuden, but he had a lot of rage and helplessness in part 1, and he had to deal with that at some point, as well as the guilt he no doubt began to feel. While I'm sure Shikamaru also breaks down, especially in their professions, he seems much more stable and at ease. Also, I've had Neji comforting Shikamaru after the failed retrieval of Sasuke. I wanted to show the reverse. **

**Thanks to everyone who is reading this, and to those who have reviewed: __****SunSlayerMoonSlaughter****, shinidanie, Hanai-kun, reaper118, BrevityofWit, alpha2nd, AttentionDeficitDisorder, yinyanglover,** **_DarogaDaae_ _and _**_**Dreamsofdragons**___


	5. Tastes of Alcohol

**Watching Clouds and Birds**

**Tastes of Alcohol**

There was a roaring outside that sounded suspiciously like a riot. Shrill laughter, piercing screaming and dull yells mixed into a tumult of sounds. Inside the sound was muffled somewhat thanks to the thick walls, but what was covered was replaced by their own noise.

It was loud. It was annoying. It was _troublesome_, damnit.

And yet he was having fun.

Oh, of course, Shikamaru wasn't _showing _it. The Nara wasn't supposed to have fun, unless he was on a hill somewhere or sleeping. But there was warmth in the yells and joy in the laughter, and he couldn't help but enjoy himself.

Maybe it had something to do with being among the others. His chuunin tasks involved a good deal more paperwork, which was irritating, and while he often had missions leading the other genins, he also had missions with other chunnins. In fact, this was the first time they'd all been together in months.

They were all busy. Half of them were now chuunins, and the other were highly experienced genins that were expected to become chuunin in the next exam. The next exam which was being held in Konoha, the first since that eventful exam just under a year and a half ago. The Godaime was understandably nervous, which Shikamaru appreciated. He didn't appreciate being involved in the preparation. This was the first time he'd been able to relax in what felt like weeks.

There was a thud next to him, and a cascade of blonde hair, cerulean eyes and pale skin. "Shiiiika" came the grating whine. "You're being boring. Why can't you join in like everyone else?"

He cocked an eyebrow lazily. "Everyone else? I can see at least four others staying out of the way."

She glared. "At least drink something." Without waiting for a reply she filled up his glass with something red and slightly frothy. He hoped it was wine, but with Ino it was never good to assume.

Suddenly the glare melted, replaced by doe eyes and a hand fluffing her hair. "Oh, are you having fun Neji-kun?" she simpered to a space behind Shikamaru. He turned his head halfway and caught a glimpse of the Hyuuga.

And smirked.

If Shikamaru was being antisocial it was through a lack of interest and energy (literally – planning chuunin exams were surprisingly tiring when it was the first one the Hokage had ever organised and she was freaking out about it). Neji, on the other hand, couldn't have looked more awkward.

"Ah, yes thank you Ino-san. And yourself?"

"Oh, I'm just loving it! Are you-"

"Ino-pig! What's taking the drinks so long?"

"I'm _coming _forehead-girl!" Ino screamed, turning from a coy seductress to an evil demon and back again in the space of a few seconds. Neji blinked, bewildered. Smiling sweetly, Ino placed a hand on his arm as she passed, not noticing the fairly obvious tensing. "Well, speak to you later, 'kay?" She sauntered off with a giggle.

Neji stared blankly at the spot she had just vacated. "What just happened?"

"It's called flirting." Neji still looked blank. Shikamaru smirked. "Tenten doesn't flirt?"

The other glared at him. "Tenten is a valuable team member and an excellent kunoichi. She has no need for…_flirting._" The last word was said as a curse.

He tried to hide a smirk, but it came out anyway. "Ah." It made sense. Tenten wanted to be a respected kunoichi, for and not despite being a woman. She had worked hard to gain a reputation, and flirting with her teammates would destroy that. And the thought of Hinata flirting with anyone was ridiculous.

Neji sat down next to him, and Shikamaru felt a rush of warmth. It was something, when the proper, manners-obsessed Hyuuga sat down without asking permission. It showed he was at ease with Shikamaru, something he only shared with Lee and Tenten, and then only if he was in a good mood and they weren't being too annoying.

"Why would she flirt with me?"

Shikamaru spared a glance, but, yep, it was a serious question. The poor boy looked genuinely confused, brow frowning and eyes focused and busy as they tried to work through the problem. Shikamaru looked away from the expanses of white before he could get too lost and wondered whether the red liquid had been something stronger than wine.

"Because you're tall, dark and silent. She goes for that type."

"Shino-san also fills those requirements. And yet she does not seem to…converse with him." Apparently the word 'flirting' was too colloquial for Neji.

"You can't see Shino's face."

Neji blinked again. "I…do not see the relevance."

He snorted. "Appearance is a large motivator of Ino. She goes for pretty, in case you haven't noticed. It's why she hung on Sasuke so much." Neji stared at him. After a few seconds, Shikamaru started to get uncomfortable. "What?"

"Did you just call me pretty?"

The Nara blinked, then ran his last few words through his head. And blinked again. Well…oops. The alcohol must be slowing down his brain if he was able to make slip like that. "I didn't mean to imply…"

"Of course not." Neji interrupted. "It's fine." He looked away, seeming awkward, and focused instead on Kiba and Hinata across the room. Specifically on where the dog-nin's hands were in relation to his cousin. He frowned. "I thought she liked Naruto," he murmured to himself. Shikamaru, of course, heard.

"She does. But he isn't here, and Kiba is, and very persistent."

Neji's eyes narrowed. "I may have to have a word with him."

Shikamaru snorted. By 'word' he guessed Neji meant a juuken to the gut. He wondered whether he should warn his childhood friend, then realised he had it coming to him by flirting with the girl while her overly-protective cousin was in the same room. It was sweet, really. Time was Neji wouldn't have thought twice about the shy Hyuuga, now he was ready and eager to defend her honour.

He then noticed something that needed rectifying immediately. "Where's your drink?"

Neji turned to look at him, rising an eyebrow arrogantly. "Drink?" he asked in his high-and-mighty voice that never worked on the Nara. He smirked. Neji turning all noble meant Neji was going on the defensive.

"A huh. Drink. A liquid-based substance you consume by swallowing and commonly used to slack thirst. Drink."

"I'm not thirsty," he said shortly. He turned away, avoiding the other's gaze.

This was…suspicious. If Shikamaru didn't know better, he'd say Neji was avoiding the topic. He cast his mind back to previous gatherings and celebrations, and realised that he'd never seen the Hyuuga consume alcohol. Mostly he drank water or nothing at all.

Well, it made sense. Alcohol took away your sense of control. For something as firmly held together as Neji, the thought of anything loosening his tight constrains on himself was unthinkable.

But it wasn't healthy. There was a reason people enjoyed drinking alcohol – the lack of control was freeing, liberating. It helped people relax and have fun, and gave them the ability to do things they never normally would. False confidence, maybe, but confidence none the less.

To be honest, Shikamaru felt Neji would benefit immensely from losing control. He locks himself up in his own cage, and the thought of seeing him without those bars was…intriguing. He was sure Neji would enjoy having control taken from him, if only for a little while.

It would certainly pull that stick out.

Now, normally Shikamaru couldn't be bothered to interfere. People would make mistakes and learn and live fine without his intervention. But this time he wanted to do something.

He blamed it on whatever Ino had given him. It was probably drugged.

Shikamaru spotted Ino walking past, probably on the way for another round since the others seemed to be indulging. He timed it perfectly. Just as she was passing them, he said in a louder-than-necessary voice, "Neji, if you want a drink then go get one."

Ino looked over. Neji froze, then glared furiously. Shikamaru smirked.

"Neji-kun! You don't have a drink? Oh, that's awful! Just sit here and I'll go get you one."

"That's really not nec-"

"Nonsense, I don't mind, honest! I bet I can guess just what you like!"

Neji tried to protest again, but Ino's loud voice had drawn the attention of most of the people in the bar, and Neji was quickly becoming the centre of attention. Willing away the light blush, he shut up and glared at anyone who dared look his way.

While Ino pranced off to win him over by fetching the perfect drink, Neji hissed at Shikamaru, "And just _what_ have I done to you to deserve that?"

The other chuckled but didn't answer. He didn't need an excuse. It was _funny_.

Ino came back with something blue. It looked like it was shining and Neji wondered if this was going to poison him. Or make him grow a tail.

"Go on, you'll like it!"

"Erm, no, that's –"

"It's tastes really good!"

"-okay, I don't really-"

"Come on, Neji-kun! You only live once, right?"

She thrust the drink under his nose, and the glass tipped. Catching it hurriedly, he only just managed to prevent anything spilling. He then looked up to see Ino hovering around far too close for his comfort and, apparently realising she wouldn't leave unless he capitulated, took a sip.

"There you go! Wasn't that bad now, was it?"

She skipped off again, and Neji scowled down at the glass of whatever-the-hell-it-was. "I don't like her," he muttered. Shikamaru snorted, and he turned his glare onto him instead. "I don't like you either."

"Just drink, you girl."

Neji threw a wry glance at Sakura, Ino and Tenten, currently in the middle of their second drinking contest. "I don't think the girls are having any trouble."

* * *

At ten the Konoha 10 gathered together (around Shikamaru's table, much to his annoyance) to make the toast. The parade outside had died down, but there was still excitement, and the pub was still busy. It didn't matter. In their little corner they were celebrating something completely different.

Sakura lifted up a drink, and they quietened down, looking at the pink-haired girl. It was appropriate that she make the toast. As the ten fell silent, a solemnity fell over them. Sakura blinked back something suspiciously wet before smiling weakly at them. Holding her glass up, they all pretended not to see her hand shaking and followed suit.

She took a deep breath. "This is for you, Naruto. I hope, _no_, I know you're getting stronger. We're all here to celebrate, even if you…even if you and Sasuke-kun aren't. And…we miss you." The last part was said as a whisper, and she looked down at the table. They knew she wasn't just talking about Naruto now. Ino reached over and rubbed her shoulder, and Sakura looked up with a wobbly smile. "So…happy birthday, Naruto."

"Happy birthday," the others chorused, downing their drinks. They were quiet for a moment, thinking about a raven-haired traitor, a day when six of them almost died, and a blonde ball of light that never seemed to falter.

Then Kiba shifted. "Come on. The moron wouldn't have wanted us down on his birthday. Who's up for another round?"

"Yeah! Woah!" cried the more than slightly intoxicated Ino. "Time to party, yeah!"

One by one the others drifted away to drink or dance or hide. Shikamaru and Neji were left alone once more.

Neji looked down into his half-empty glass, his third of the evening. He'd been feeling tipsy before, but that feeling had died down some in the wake of the toast. He didn't want to, knew it wasn't right for Naruto to be depressed on his birthday, but he couldn't help it.

The village was functioning as if nothing was really missing. The only person whose life had really changed was Sakura, and she seemed to be getting on perfectly as Tsunade's student. The absence didn't really affect anything.

Yet there was no angry yelling for harder missions in the Hokage's office. No call for another round at Ichiraku. No chasing after Sakura-chan, or wrestling with Kiba, or arguing with Kakashi, or beaming at Iruka, or sleeping next to Shikamaru or…well, there was no Naruto. And though nothing stopped in his absence, the village felt the lack.

Of course, some people cared more than others did. There were some who rejoiced in that lack.

Which brought Neji onto his current topic of thought, and an issue that had been on his mind since his first Chuunin exam, seemingly so long ago. It was fitting to be obsessing over it on this day. _Not_ that Neji was obsessing. He didn't obsess. Never mind what his team, his cousins and Shikamaru claimed.

"It's curious," he murmured.

Shikamaru glanced over. "What?"

"That Naruto's birthday would fall on such a…notable day."

The boy pulled a face over his friend's inability to ever say something clearly. He was living proof that too much education really was bad for you. "Coincidence," he dismissed.

Neji sent him a narrowed-eyed glance. Now, Neji wasn't as smart as Shikamaru. A look at their IQs would show them that. But Neji still managed to win around a third of their Shougi games (granted, Shikamaru probably wasn't trying when he won, but still…) and he'd been the number one rookie of his year. Neji was _not _an idiot. In fact, he was smart enough to recognise when someone was smart enough to reach the same conclusion he himself had.

Or something like that. Neji blinked, then realised his mental ramblings had made very little sense at all. Oh well, he knew what he was on about.

"Then there's the fact most villagers irrationally hate him."

"He's very loud."

"He has those six scars on his face."

"Kids get all sorts of bumps and scrapes."

"A legendary Sanin decided to personally train him."

"He's quite persistent."

"Most importantly of all, he has a huge reserve of strange red chakra."

"He is the number one surprisingly ninja."

"Shikamaru!"

"What?"

Neji glared at him, and he sighed wearily, laying his head on his folded arms on the table. "Troublesome," he muttered. The glare intensified. "Fine, fine. When'd you figure it out?"

"After the Chuunin exam. I was watching his chakra pathways with my byakugan and realised there were only a couple of explanations for what I saw. After some research, I narrowed it down to just one. You?"

Shikamaru shrugged. "No idea. I was fairly young. Like…six or something." Neji just stared, and the boy looked away, strangely uncomfortable with seeing that look on his friend's face. "What? I'm a lazy genius, remember."

"And you never told anyone?"

He shrugged again. "Not my business to tell. Besides, mum seemed just as against him as the rest. And it was kinda suspicious that no one else our age seemed to know, or that no one spoke of it. I thought it would be better to keep my mouth shut."

"So you think none of them know?" Neji indicated to the others.

"Kiba, possibly, with his sense of smell. Sakura, maybe, what with being teammates or hearing it from Tsunade. The others? I doubt it." He saw Neji staring pensively into his drink, and rose an eyebrow. "Does it matter?"

Neji opened his mouth to answer, then paused and actually thought about the question. "I was never influenced against Naruto. My parents died too young, and I didn't have that much contact with other adults or children. He was in another class. I only knew he existed when I fought Hinata. I…can understand human nature, and why he would be hated. But he's the same Naruto whether or not I know his secret. If he hasn't changed, why should my opinion?"

Shikamaru smiled softly, feeling strangely proud. "It shouldn't," he agreed.

"Besides, it isn't like he is the Kyuubi."

Shikamaru seemed to look more alert at that statement. He focused his eyes on Neji. "He isn't?"

Neji threw him a surprised look. "Well, no. You thought he was?"

The boy seemed embarrassed at his mistake. Apparently even geniuses could come to the wrong conclusion. "People hated him indiscriminately. He doesn't have any parents or family. He appeared when the Kyuubi disappeared. It makes sense."

The other considered it, nodding slowly. "Yes. Without extra knowledge, that is the conclusion I would have reached as well."

Shikamaru stared at him expectantly, but Neji just looked musingly at his glance. Feeling impatient, which was a rare enough subject without Neji exacerbating it, he muttered, "So?"

A curious glance at him, then a smirk. "His chakra and the red chakra are separate. During our fight I blocked all his chakra. Yet the red chakra came from somewhere else."

"Somewhere else?"

He nodded. "His stomach. Which made me wonder. I spoke to Tenten about it, asking if a seal could separate chakra. She said it was possible if there were two types of chakra to begin with, but you can't split one kind of chakra into two."

"So he couldn't have been the Kyuubi because he wouldn't have had two chakras."

"The only explanation was there were two beings occupying the same space, each with their own chakra. One was Naruto, and the other was the kyuubi."

Shikamaru looked impressed. "The Yondaime managed to seal the Kyuubi into a child? I didn't even know it was possible."

"According to Tenten, it isn't." Shikamaru threw him a sharp glance. "I didn't tell her. I just asked whether it was possible to seal one being into another under certain circumstances. But whatever the Yondaime did, it was either a method he created, or top-secret."

Neji thought of the Yondaime, and wondered whether to voice his _other _suspicions. But that would be frivolous. Unlike the other theory, he had no proof, just circumstantial evidence. And it definitely wasn't any of his business.

Still…how many blonde haired blue eyed men lived in Konoha? Not that many at all.

It wouldn't have occurred to Shikamaru, not if he had thought that Naruto was the Kyuubi itself. Whatever the truth, Neji decided not to think about it any more. Naruto's private life was just that, and he had no right to investigate.

"Will you stop staring at that and just drink it?"

Neji turned startled eyes on Shikamaru, then looked back at the drink. He hadn't even realised he'd been doing it. With a mental shrug he downed the remains, that stood to get another round for him and Shikamaru.

This was a celebration, after all.

* * *

"I think we should have turned left."

Snort. "Can't remember your way home, huh?"

"Like you're any better, Mr. Is-it-the-east-side-or-west-side-of-the-village?"

Neji turned to retaliate, and tripped on something that felt suspiciously like empty air. Grabbing onto Shikamaru to steady himself, he instead dragged the other down with him.

Lying underneath the shadow-inn, something painful and rocky digging into his back and an elbow in his stomach, Neji muttered, "Oops." And giggled.

Shikamaru used his chest to lever himself up, ignoring Neji's pained gasp. "Did you just _giggle_?"

Neji glared. "Hyuuga's. Do not. Giggle."

Shikamaru snickered. "Sure. Keep telling yourself that." He tried to push himself onto his feet, but his right foot slipped and he ended up back where he started, on top of Neji.

"Oof."

"Sorry."

"Damn, Shikamaru. How is someone as skinny as you so _heavy_?"

Shikamaru glared – or at least tried to. His eyes went cross-eyed in the attempt. Must not have had the same amount of practise as the other. "It's muscle."

Neji snorted.

Growling, Shikamaru dug a knee into the other's thigh. "Shut up."

"You fight primari-really-rila…mostly with your brain and shadows. You don't _have _muscles."

"I have enough!" Shikamaru felt himself becoming indignant, which was laughable really. Normally he wouldn't have given a damn if someone thought he was weak.

Then again, normally he hadn't drunk what felt like his body's weight in alcohol or have trouble making his brain think straight. Or even in bends. He felt a stirring in his stomach and decided he was _not _going to throw up.

Maybe Kiba was right. Maybe he _did _need to build up his tolerance levels. He usually couldn't be bothered to drink much, though. Certainly not enough to get him drunk.

Lifting his head from the other's shoulder just enough to peer into Neji's face, he saw the Hyuuga lying there with his eyes closed, a smirk on his face, panting slightly.

Okay, maybe Shikamaru was bad. But Neji was _wasted_. It was probably the first time he'd had alcohol, let alone got drunk, and he was plastered. It was only the Hyuuga's supreme, inhuman control over their bodies that stopped him from throwing.

Neji opened his eyes and noticed Shikamaru's face hovering over his own. He frowned slightly. "What?"

"Huh?"

"You're close." He tried seeing past Shikamaru, but all he could see was the other' face. Then his vision began to get blurry and all he could see were those eyes. Dark, still anchors in a sea of swimming swells of sinking…sickly…ugh.

If this was what drunk was, Neji was quite happy being sober, thank you very much.

Shikamaru stared down into those endlessly white…wait. Frowning slightly, he peered closer, not noticing when his face moved forward a couple of inches. He'd never been this close before, so he'd never noticed, but the eyes weren't as pure white as he'd assumed. There was a hint of lilac in them that gave them a shimmer. It was…pretty.

"You have pretty eyes." Oh, shit, he didn't just say that. Please say he didn't just say that.

Neji scowled slightly, then stopped when it made him dizzy. "I'ma _boy_," he slurred irritably.

Shikamaru blinked. He was resting on the body so that his hips were pressed into the other's, and his hands were on his chest to give himself leverage. Both areas noted that, _yes_, Neji was most definitely a boy.

Something that Shikamaru didn't mind _at all_.

He leaned down just a bit, and blinked, startled, when he felt Neji's breath drift over his lips. Huh. When did he get _this _close?

And for some reason he couldn't help remember that night a few months back. That night where he'd kissed Neji in desperation, not knowing what else to do to drag him out of his pit of self-loathing. He' been scared and concerned and had moved without thinking, then been surprised when Neji had responded instead of blowing his chakra systems apart.

They hadn't mentioned it. Neji had seemed to take it as a medical action, like slapping a hysterical person, and Shikamaru had been content to go along with it. He wasn't one for rocking the boat.

But all those previous, excellent reasons had run away after the sixth or so glass, and now all he knew was that Neji's lips had been soft and warm, and strangely hesitant for such a confident guy.

Then again, it had probably been Neji's first kiss. Shikamaru was well aware of the other's repression and disdain of physical contact. After some practise, Neji would probably be just as delicately aggressive as his fighting style was.

All he needed was some experience…

No! _Bad _Shikamaru! Neji was…well, not _innocent_ exactly, but naïve certainly. And he was drunk. Well, so was Shikamaru but Neji was worse off. And this was a betrayal of trust and friendship and…

…oh god, Neji looked so _pretty _just lying there. His eyes had closed again, lips opened slightly and panting lightly. Somewhere in the fall his hair tie had come loose, and his hair was spread out around him. His face was flushed and he just looked like some virgin sacrifice waiting for the slaughter.

This was _so _not fair. Shikamaru was a teenage boy damnit, genius shinobi or not. He had _hormones_!

Neji, for his part, was hovering between the boundary of awake and asleep. Logically he knew he shouldn't sleep here. Not on the ground, not in public, certainly not with someone lying on top of him.

But he was so _tired_ and thinking was so much of an effort. He couldn't help but believe that if he did anything other than lie here he'd throw up. And wouldn't _that _look impressive? The great Hyuuga Neji, throwing up in the street.

There was a distant thought that it was _Shikamaru _on top of him, and that should bother him. He couldn't exactly remember why, though…Something to do with a day a few months back, or something.

Well, what did it matter? He trusted Shikamaru. If he had to look pathetic and weak in front of anyone, it might as well be Shikamaru. At least the other would keep his mouth shut.

Speaking of mouths…his felt strange. Like butterfly wings were flapping gently across them. Was this sensation something to do with being drunk?

Focusing his willpower, he managed to drag his eyelids open and stare at…Shikamaru's face. Which was very close. And those weren't butterfly wings after all. And…oh, that felt kind of nice.

Shikamaru blinked as he was confronted with cloudy white eyes, then smirked when Neji didn't protest or pull away. In fact, when Shikamaru pressed slightly harder and drew his tongue along Neji's bottom lip, the other's mouth opened slightly.

He licked along the opening, then again, softly persuasive, until it widened, and he was able to slip inside. There were a few moments of careful explorations as Neji blinked owlishly at him in confusion. Realising that the Hyuuga probably didn't understand this step, Shikamaru touched the points of their tongues together before dragging his down the length and back up again. Getting the hint, Neji joined in, leaning up slightly to press harder into the kiss.

After a minute or two the need of oxygen overtook the need for contact, and Shikamaru pulled away slowly, reluctantly. Gasping lightly for air, he looked down and watched as Neji absently licked his lips.

Then Neji frowned, and pushed weakly at Shikamaru's chest. Fearing he'd overstepped his boundaries, he moved off Neji hurriedly. Then blinked as Neji rolled over onto his side and threw up.

**Tastes of Alcohol**

"Oh, wow, that's sexy," he muttered, rolling his eyes. "It wasn't _that _bad, was it?" Silence. "Neji?" Nothing. "Oi!"

He prodded the other, and when he got no response rolled him onto his back, and peered down into the unconscious face. Shikamaru snorted. "Great."

He looked around at the buildings that were spinning and slightly blurry at the edges, and concluded that if he tried standing up he'd probably fall right back over, and this was without the Hyuuga's weight.

"Shit."

* * *

In the end, Kiba and Shino had been walking home together when Akamaru had smelt something strange and gone to investigate. They'd managed to rouse Neji and get everybody home safely. Kiba was too drunk to remember anything past 11 o'clock, and Shino didn't tend to speak anyway, so their secret was safe.

Neji's first hangover lasted twelve hours, which he had to spend training with the loud and pain-free Gai and Lee. Him and Tenten promptly swore off drinking _ever _again.

When Neji didn't mention anything about the kiss, Shikamaru decided that he couldn't remember it, sulked for a couple of days then convinced himself it was probably for the best. He didn't want their friendship to change, anyway.

Neji…well, let's put it this way. When Hinata asked if he'd enjoyed the night, he'd blushed, mumbled something inaudible then quickly left the room. He kept his mouth shut, though. He was, after all, an expert of denial.

* * *

**A/N: Yay! First kiss that both parties actually consider a kiss. Excuse my ramblings on the discovering Kyuubi, I like to burden people with my half-assed theories. **

**Apologies for taking so long, but it is the longest chapter so far, so don't kill me! And...I can't think of anything else to say. I suck. XD**

**Thanks as usual to all who read and enjoy! And thanks to my wonderful reviewers: _BrevityofWit, SunSlayerMoonSlaughter, kaylakaiba, eat.it.in.the.kitchen., DarogaDaae, judikickshiney, Wing It, torib0o and Daryn Maxwell._**


	6. The Resulting Hangover

**Watching Clouds and Birds**

**The Resulting Hangover**

Neji was standing in one of the training gardens – a rectangular space of just grass and a couple of trees at the end – sliding through movements his characteristic sleek, graceful manner

Neji was standing in one of the training gardens – a rectangular space of just grass and a couple of trees at the end – sliding through sets of kata in his characteristic sleek, graceful manner. Left hand in front, move in smooth arc to the side, duck upper body with it, right foot moves through the dirt, body curls as his left foot skips…

He knew Hanabi was watching the movement, knew she was trying to be discrete because it was improper for a Main House to learn from a mere Branch member, genius of not. Yet Hiashi-sama had not been in combat for many years now, and while he was still skilled and strong, his movements lacked the fluidity and practise Neji's held.

The Hyuuga Main House members were taught by tutors who were experts in the traditional movements, the traditional styles, so that every fighter was skilled in the _Hyuuga _way. Neji was not Main House. Neji had learnt his own way – a bastardised form of the Hyuuga style. Neji, however, was a genius, and his bastardised method was better suited for combat – something the Main House would rather die than admit.

But Hanabi knew. And Hanabi wanted to be the best. She hadn't quite worked up the determination to crush her pride by asking him directly to train her, but she could watch and make note and perhaps gain some of his skill through her observant eyes.

And the end of his sixth set about five minutes later he stopped, keeping his body tense and in position for some moments before allowing himself to relax. His body was covered in a light sheet of sweat, his heart racing regularly and his breath coming quicker than normal. There was a burn in his muscles and adrenaline in his blood, and it was times like this that he felt most alive.

"They weren't as easy as usual."

Hanabi's analytical, slightly scathing voice cut through his peace like a lightning bolt through the clouds. Neji grimaced. "Excuse me?" He asks, voice haughty and icy.

"They were still good, no mistakes or anything. But they looked more…forced than usual."

Neji realised she wasn't going to go away. Worse, she was acknowledging that she'd been watching, and had watched before. She would only make such an admission if there was something in it for her.

Feeling like he was walking straight into a trap, yet knowing there was no way around it, he pivoted on his right foot slowly.

There she was, standing tall and proud, the perfect Hyuuga. And yet, still a child. Still only eight years old, still only a young girl.

Too damn perceptive for a child.

"Would you like to explain yourself, Hanabi-sama?"

If Neji felt any sort of negative emotion for addressing someone six years his junior as 'sama', he was careful not to show it. Not that he especially cared. In Hinata's case, it was because he truly respected her. Hanabi? It was a subtle tease, and they both knew it. He changed her suffix depending on his mood and how annoyed she was.

She scowled. Still too young to know when to hide emotion. "You know exactly what I'm talking about!" And Neji was amused to notice she was emulating his tone of voice almost exactly – haughty and cold, and yet with the frustration that showed she had a bit of way to go yet.

"I'm not sure I do," he said, tone mockingly bewildered and innocent. He hid his amusement as her fists clenched.

She ground her teeth, seemed to be debating something with herself, before finally bursting out with, "There's something bothering you!" Then looked surprised, as if she hadn't meant to say that at all.

Neji, on the other hand, blinked, genuinely bewildered this time. Oh, she was right, he knew that. He _shouldn't_ be bothered, but that didn't stop him. However, Neji had experience at hiding things, and was surprised Hanabi had even noticed. Let alone cared enough to mention it.

He stared at her, then sighed. She wasn't going to go away. "It's silly," he admitted. "It was an accident, it's meaningless, and I'll forget about it. It's just…going to take a bit of time."

"You've had five days," she pointed out.

Neji startled. "How do you know that?"

"Please." She snorted, distinctly unladylike. "Unlike _some _people, I'm not an idiot." Neji wondered who that was a jab at, him or Hinata. "You've been weird ever since you went out with your friends."

He grimaced, irritated that his attempts to forget that night were being thwarted by an eight year old. He hadn't seen Shikamaru since then. He was tempted to pass it off as the other being busy with missions and training, but the places Shikamaru usually relaxed in had been suspiciously absent.

That made Neji feel paranoid. Oh, sure, he was uncomfortable with the memory and unwilling to address it or its implications. But he was perfectly willing to put it and the unwanted feelings it invoked behind him. But…what about Shikamaru? Before this, Neji would have put money on Shikamaru not caring - after all, he wasn't one to get worked up over nothing, and he had no problems with the concept itself.

But what if Neji was wrong? What if Shikamaru _did _have a problem with it, and was avoiding him? What if one stupid, drunken mistake destroyed their friendship? And what did it matter if it did? Neji didn't need Shikamaru, didn't need anyone. Their friendship wasn't necessary for his survival. Why did he even care? So what if Shikamaru never spoke to him comfortably again…never watched the sky with him again…never sat eating takeout and laughing at their friend's follies again…never-

"Neji! Hello! God, did your brain decide to take a holiday or something? Hey!"

Neji jerked as Hanabi's foot connected with his knee, hard. He looked blankly at the girl, who was staring at him as if he'd gone insane. Which he probably had.

"What is _wrong_ with you?" She demanded.

He blinked, then shook his head abruptly. Turning around, he mumbled a, "Nothing" before leaving the garden.

Oh yeah. He didn't care _at all_…

* * *

"Shikamaru! Get up _right now_! I won't tell you again!"

The boy currently being yelled at groaned, turned over and tugged his pillow over his head. "Go 'way, mum. Sleepy…"

"You're always sleepy! Now get up, it's already eleven and you are _not _spending the whole day in bed. Shikamaru!"

A low groan was her only answer.

When his bedroom door slammed shut, Shikamaru thanked the gods that the dragon had finally given up. He was just dropping off again, seeing deer jumping over clouds, when he was thrown into reality in the worse way possible.

Icy cold water hit him full in the upper-body and face, making him yelp and sit up with a jerk. He felt it drip under his shirt and into his pants, and shuddered. He gaped at his mum, standing there with an empty bucket in her hand. "There is something wrong with you!"

"Wrong with _me_?!" She yelled. "I'm not that one who decided to sleep for _thirteen hours_, and wanted to sleep for longer! Get up, unless you want to go to sleep in a wet bed."

Shikamaru considered it, but his body was already shivering, and it would probably be more trouble than it was worth. He didn't see what was wrong with wanting to sleep in on a day with no missions – he got hardly any of them nowadays.

Yoshino watched her son obviously trying to decide between two evils, and sighed. Carefully sitting down on one of the few dry patches, she eyed him.

When Shikamaru noticed, he gave her a wary glance before looking at the bed. "You know this means more work for you, right?" he asked wryly. She glared and considered bashing his lazy, disrespectful head in with the bucket.

"Quiet!" She paused, then steeled herself. "What's the matter with you?"

"What?"

"Don't give me, 'what', brat!" She snapped. "You may be lazy, but even you aren't usually _this _lazy. All you want to do is stay in your bed and sleep! You don't even seem to want to watch the clouds. Are you sick? Injured? Come on, we're going to the hospital, they can take a look at you and –"

"Mum!" He interrupted. "I'm _fine_, so stop clucking."

"Then tell me what's wrong!"

Shikamaru sighed, exasperated, and avoiding her gaze, looking around the room for escape routes.

"Shikamaru…I'm your mother. I'm meant to help when something's wrong, you know that, right?"

He nodded reluctantly. She may be an evil dragon who snacked on white knights and damsels in distress, but she usually had his well being in mind. Well, sort of. Even so…

"You can't help with this, mum. It's personal."

She opened her mouth, about to argue, when she took a closer look at him. He was sitting in soaking wet clothes, water dripping down his face and hair, shoulders drooped and hands limp in his lap. His eyes were downcast, and he looked so despondent and pathetic she just didn't have the heart to yell. He was so smart and mature, already a capable Chuunin, sometimes she forgot that technically he was still a kid. Still her little boy.

Reaching out a hand, she rubbed his head, ignoring his futile jerk away. "Whatever it is, I'm sure you'll figure it out. Just remember, nothing is as bad as it appears. And whatever happens, you'll always have your father and I."

Shikamaru blinked, feeling slightly choked. "Thanks mum," he mumbled.

She nodded, then stopped rubbing and used the hand to slap him round the head. "Now get up, get showered and get dressed, you lazy brat!"

Yoshino walked out the room with the bucket, smiling as she heard his muttered insults and curses. Whatever it was, he'll figure it out. He always does.

* * *

"Yosh! Time for another exhilarating and enjoyable training session!"

"That is correct, Lee! Together we can enjoy our youth!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

Neji tuned them out. He'd learnt early on that if he didn't want to end up in prison for two counts of murder, he'd listen to Gai-sensei and Lee as little as possible.

"Oh God, are they doing it again?"

"They are occupying the same space, Tenten. Of course they are doing it again."

He looked over to his teammate, noticing she was spinning a kunai with one finger while glaring at the two celebrating buffoons. With the arsenal of weapons and scrolls placed in easy reach, as well as those hidden, she looked deadly. Neji had always appreciated her as a teammate, and never put her in the same category as other kunoichi. Unlike the rest, Tenten had always focused on only training.

Even better, she had a genuine love for what she did. She spent days working on seals and scrolls, investing in the best ink and paper. Tenten was a reliable and strong teammate.

Sometimes Neji had to be reminded that she was also a girl.

But, if she had so many good points, why did he look at her as only a teammate and at Shikamaru as…

…no, not going there.

Then he realised he was still staring at her, and she was now staring back with an eyebrow raised. "What? Is there something on my face?"

He shook his head. "No. I just have something on my mind."

She gave him a searching look. "Shikamaru, right?"

"How did you know?" he demanded, shocked. What was with people being able to read him lately?

She laughed at him, ignoring his irritable expression. "Oh, come on. You left with him after the party, then you were weird the next day. Now you two are avoiding each other. Something happened between you." She saw the look he was giving her, and waved her hands about hurriedly. "Oh, don't get me wrong. I don't want to know. _God_, do I ever _not _want to know. Just…you two are good friends, right? You're happier when you're with him. I mean, I don't get it, but I suppose it makes as much sense as you getting along with Lee…So, whatever the problem is between you two, sort it out."

"Tenten…"

"No, Neji." She twirled the kunai warningly. "Don't be a wimp in this. Whatever is the problem, it's nothing compared to your friendship. You're supposed to be strong and brave, right? So stop being a coward and go talk to him. It's not like you have the excuse of not knowing where he is, Mister-_Byakugen_-user. Or I'll set those two on you."

Neji looked at Gai-sensei and Lee, and imagined them putting their energy and insanity into mending Neji's 'youthful, glorious bonds with his precious person', and gulped. Maybe it would be better to just do as Tenten says.

* * *

After being kicked out the house by his dear, loving tyrant of a mother, Shikamaru was ambling around trying to work up the motivation to go train. So far he'd managed to avoid encounters with anyone he knew, including a near miss with Ino after seeing a bright yellow blur bobbing around in the distance. He shuddered at the thought of _her _catching him.

Later, Shikamaru would blame it on his distracted state, and not on his failure as a shinobi. But when an arm slung itself over his shoulders, it came out of nowhere and almost gave him a heart attack.

"Wha-?"

He looked to his right, where Kiba was now hanging off him, weak with hysterical laughter. "You – haha - totally didn't - heh…oh, that was funny…"

Shikamaru controlled the urge to stick something pointy in Kiba. Barely. He sighed, exasperated. "What do you want, Kiba?"

The boy in question snickered. "Well, you see, there's something I've been meaning to ask you for a few days now, but I got distracted, what with that stupid escort mission, then Kuromaru had pups and-"

"Kiba."

"Yeah, yeah." Kiba dropped his arm and moved to stand in front of Shikamaru, leaning in obnoxiously close. By now they'd stopped in the middle of the street, and Shikamaru was just grateful it wasn't busy. Kiba grinned wolfishly, fangs showing. "So, you fucking Hyuuga?"

Shikamaru's mouth fell open. "What? Kiba, have you been sniffing things again?" Why on earth would he be doing anything with Hinata?

Kiba glowered. "_No_, and don't play innocent. You two were all over each other."

Try as he might, Shikamaru couldn't remember a time when he had even _touched_ Hinata, let alone been 'all over' her. And surely Kiba should be acting more protective than this? "Kiba," he said firmly. "I haven't done anything with Hinata."

"Huh?" Kiba blinked. "Who's talking about Hinata?" He scowled. "You _better_ have not done anything with her, because if I find out you've even looked-"

Shikamaru drowned him out. If Kiba wasn't talking about Hinata, then that meant…Neji. And if they had been in a compromising position, then Kiba must be referring to…oh, god. "I thought you were too drunk to remember!" He snapped, cutting Kiba off mid-threat.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I was."

"Then how do you know?"

Kiba gave him a look. "You sure you're a genius? _Akamaru_ wasn't too drunk. He told me after that your two's smells were all over the other."

Shikamaru thought fast. "Of course it was. Neji fell down, and pulled me down with him. I ended up landing on top of him. That's it."

"That's it?"

Shikamaru nodded, not liking the speculative look in his friend's eyes. He liked it even less when Kiba burst out laughing.

"Then how come both of your pheromones were through the roof? Must have been some fall to get you both so worked up!"

Ahh. Inuzuka's nindogs could smell hormones. That was a problem. Shikamaru looked into Kiba's gloating face, and realised the other wasn't going to drop it. He might have to give a little to get him off his back. But which part to give?

"So?" Kiba prodded him out of his thoughts, literally. Shikamaru glared half-heartedly. "You fucking Hyuuga?"

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "No." He stepped around Kiba and began walking again, ignoring the other's protesting cry.

"Hey, hey, wait up! Then what? You just fooling around together?"

"We're not fooling around."

"Then what? How far you got? What you two done tog-"

"A kiss!" Shikamaru glared at the annoying pest stalking him. "We just kissed, just once."

Kiba blinked. "_That's_ what the smell thing was all about? A _kiss_?" He looked disappointed. "Jeez, that's nothing."

"Exactly."

Shikamaru kept walking, but Kiba stopped for a moment, looking at his friend, before bounding to catch up. "I don't get it. If it was just a kiss, why're you sulking?"

"I'm not sulking," Shikamaru argued, trying to stay calm. His patience was rapidly running out and he was about to focus all his confusion and anger onto Kiba.

"Sure you are. You're what, wandering around town doing nothing? Avoiding contact with people? You're totally sulking. Why?"

The Nara twitched. "If I tell you, will you go away?"

Kiba grinned, victorious. "Sure."

He thought for a few seconds, trying to figure out the best way to word this. He couldn't help but feel he was confessing to something. "It was only a kiss. Maybe…maybe I don't want it to be nothing."

Blinking, Kiba looked at him in complete bemusement. "What? You…you don't want the kiss to be nothing? Oh!" He had an epiphany. "You want it to be more than just a kiss! Oh, I get it. So, what's the problem?"

"You're kidding, right?" Kiba looked blank. "You know Hyuuga Neji? Serious, traditional, just as likely to rip open your circulatory system than touch you?"

"Yeah, yeah. The Hyuuga's a stupid, ice-cold, stuck-up prick. I get it. So, you two kissed when you were drunk, you want more but are too much of a wimp to confront Neji about it. That sums it up?"

Shikamaru was slightly annoyed at his mental turmoil being summed up in one sentence, but nodded anyway.

"Damn, are you sure you're sure you're a genius? 'Cause you don't seem like one to me."

Shikamaru blinked at the convoluted sentence and raised an eyebrow at Kiba. "Care to explain?"

"Look, you want something with him, you need to talk to him about it, 'cause _he_ certainly won't. You want to play safe and keep your friendship? You still need to _talk_ to him. The only thing sulking is going to do is screw things up worse."

Shikamaru stayed silent, thinking it through. As much as he hated to admit it, Kiba had a point. He sighed. "How come I can think of 80 ways to beat a stronger opponent in a fight, but couldn't think of that?"

Kiba burst out laughing and threw an arm over his shoulder. "Not so smart when it's personal, are ya?"

"Yes, because being horribly beaten and killed by an enemy shinobi isn't personal," he answered dryly. Then he shot Kiba a suspicious look. "Why're you so calm about this?"

Kiba snickered. "I had my hysterical 'Shika's lost his mind' panic months ago, when you started hanging out with the prick. Shino basically told me to stop being such a fucking moron." Shikamaru doubted Shino used those words. The Aburame didn't strike him as the type to swear. "Then he set his bugs on me. Besides," Kiba shrugged. "If _you _can get to Neji, better chances for me, yeah? Maybe you could even stop him was kicking the shit out of me."

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "Doubtful. Assuming you even get a chance with Hinata."

"I will," Kiba said confidently. "And if Naruto comes back before then, I just have to kick him out the village again."

Snorting, Shikamaru shook his head. Those three lived in their own little fantasy world.

"Anyway," Kiba removed his arm and started moving down the street next to them. "I need to meet up with the team. Training, something _you _should be doing." Kiba was unsubtle as always. As he walked away, he yelled over his shoulder, "Good luck! Have a good fuck!"

Shikamaru closed his eyes and flushed red as he felt people turn and stare at him, and start whispering to each other. Damn, he was going to kill Kiba.

* * *

"Oh, this looks nice, doesn't it?"

Neji glanced over, and raised an eyebrow at the plate Hinata was looking at. "Hn." It was a _plate_. They weren't even buying crockery!

He shifted the basket from one arm to the other, looking in it. They'd bought most of what they needed and only needed to pick up some tuna and mushrooms. Neji couldn't understand why they were here instead of a servant, but Hinata claimed she liked the atmosphere of the market, and wanted to try making some of her own meals. And had turned bright red when he'd asked whom she was planning on cooking for.

To be honest, Neji suspected all this was a ploy in order to talk to him. With his missions and training, it was rare they found a moment to just converse. Neji wasn't sure what to think when he realised he missed those quiet moments.

All through this shopping trip she'd been throwing cautious glances at him, as if trying to find the courage to breach the topic. He was about ready to snap at her to hurry up and say what was on her mind.

But he wouldn't. Even after two years, their relationship was still delicate. The slightest hint at anger sent her stuttering and twiddling her fingers obsessively. Not that he blamed her. Still, sometimes he got the guilty urge to shake her until she relaxed around him, until he realised how irrational that was since such an action would be highly counter-productive.

Why were relationships so complicated?

Sometimes he missed the days before Naruto, when he was isolated and alone and content as such. People confused him, irritated him and, frankly, scared him – not that he would ever admit it. Somedays he thought it would be easier to just stop trying.

He wouldn't, of course, because the little things made it worth it. Tenten rolling her eyes with him at Lee and Gai-sensei's antics; Lee grinning triumphantly at him after a successful mission; Hinata's smile as she blocks his attacks in a spar; Hiashi-sama's muted pride when he completes a new technique; Gai-sensei's not-so-muted pride; Shikamaru's…

…well, Shikamaru. But Neji wasn't going to go there.

Hinata bent down to inspect the mushrooms and Neji concentrated on _not _thinking about a certain problematic shinobi. As much as he was loath to admit it, Tenten was right. Still, it was one thing to say 'sort it out', and another to actually _do _it. What was he supposed to do, tie Shikamaru up and make him listen?

…hm.

"Neji?"

He blinked, looking at Hinata slightly startled, then flushed red. God, he did _not_ just think that!

Hinata was looking at him in concern. "Are you alright? You're not getting sick, are you?" She placed the back of her hand on his forehead and Neji fought the urge to flinch. "You do feel warm."

"I'm fine," he said weakly, removing her hand. "Really. Perfectly fine."

She looked unconvinced, but turned back to the mushrooms obediently. After choosing a couple of the mushrooms she murmured too nervously to be casual, "Because, if…if there was something wrong, you could…could tell me, maybe. I'd listen."

He blinked at her back, and she slowly turned round, not quite meeting his eyes. "That's what sisters are for, right?" she whispered.

And something warm and golden and soft lit inside him, making him smile softly and fondly. For a second he forgot about Shikamaru and hormones and wondered what he'd done do deserve a cousin like Hinata.

Then he remembered again and gloom overcame the warm, fuzzy feeling. Damn.

"Well," he started, about to dismiss his problems, when he realised that Hinata might know how to help. Not that she had experience in these matters…she better _not _have any experience! If Kiba was stupid enough to think he wouldn't go through on his neutering threats…"I may have a slight problem."

She smiled. "Okay." Turning back to the mushrooms, she gave his space to speak on his own terms.

Quickly, he sorted his thoughts so he didn't just start rambling idiotically, trying to pick one concern to express to Hinata. "Something happened that may threaten a friendship I value."

Her back to Neji, Hinata beamed, ecstatic her cousin had bonds he valued now. Then she thought it over. She doubted anything could affect Lee's friendship, and Tenten had seemed fine when she'd seen her earlier. Then again, Hanabi had said Neji'd been strange since the party…which meant it had to be…

She swallowed her gasp, and hid the shock from her voice. "Did you want this thing to happen?"

"Well…initially, no. I have no post-event misgivings, however. Apart from the negative affect on our friendship."

Shikamaru? But he was the most laid-back person she knew. What was so terrible that could make him avoid Neji? Or…not terrible? Neji was very carefully avoiding giving any hints to what actually happened. A drunken activity that could ruin a friendship… "What does the other person think?"

"I…have not spoken to the other party. I do believe they are avoiding me, though."

She didn't have enough information! Surely…surely Neji and Shikamaru didn't…It wasn't possible! Neji said he hadn't minded it! Did that mean…did Neji _like _Shikamaru? "Would you like to do the…thing again?"

"I have no preference either way."

Not liking then, just not disliking. Indifferent. Well, yes, she wasn't really surprised at that being Neji's reaction. But if he didn't care, then was the interest coming from Shikamaru? "So…you need to tell the other person that whatever happened doesn't matter. That h- erm, _they _are more important." Hesitantly, she turned around and saw Neji looking thoughtful rather than annoyed.

"What if they want something more?"

Hinata smiled. "If this friendship means as much to him as it does to you, he'll understand your feelings, I'm sure."

He nodded, then looked about distractedly. He looked down at the basket, then awkwardly back at Hinata. "Would you mind…?"

With a soft laugh she shook her head and took the basket from him. It wasn't too heavy, and she _was _a kunoichi. Neji took two steps away before pausing and looking back at her, realising something.

"How did you know it was a male?"

Hinata couldn't help it; even as she flushed red she started giggling. "Go…go find Shikamaru, Neji."

Neji stared at her for a few seconds, making her nervous, before shaking his head with a rueful smile. "Thanks Hinata-sama."

As he disappeared into the crowd she hugged the basket to her and smiled softly. "You're welcome."

* * *

"Aren't we supposed to be training?" Shikamaru asked dryly.

Asuma blew out a cloud of smoke, ignoring Shikamaru's irritable cough and waving hand. "Well, yeah," he said, unconcerned. "But Ino's training with the Godaime and Sakura, and Chouji has a stomach ache." Shikamaru snorted. "Besides, I need to pick up some stuff for tonight."

Shikamaru threw him a sideways glance. "Planning a special dinner?"

Asuma coughed, looking slightly flustered. "None of your business." He took another drag and changed the topic. "Besides, why're you following me?"

"I thought we were going to train and you're my sensei?" Asuma looked unconvinced. "Okay, maybe I wanted your opinion on something."

"You're coming to _me _for advice? I'm honoured."

"Haha." Shikamaru hated it when Asuma-sensei teased him. It only made him feel slightly better knowing he could beat him at shougi. Mostly.

Asuma stopped by a meat stall, considering which to get, while Shikamaru let his mind wander. The market was busy today – there were a lot of out of uniform shinobi. That was good – it meant the village wasn't as overwhelmed with missions as it had been. It looked like it was finally recovering.

He normally didn't like the market – too much hassle and noise and rushing, it wasn't worth bothering with. His mum usually dragged him to help with the carrying though, and he complained every step of the way. Shopping was woman's work, damnit.

He smirked, thinking how much Ino would hurt him for that comment.

A swipe at his head knocked him out of his thoughts, and he saw Asuma was already a couple of steps ahead of him. He moved to catch up, asking, "So what did you get?"

"Chicken. I was thinking of grilling it – maybe yakitori."

Shikamaru scrunched up his nose. "That's not very fancy."

Glaring, Asuma said, "I'm going for casual, not fancy. You going to tell me what's on your mind, or just keep harping on about my choice of food?"

Did he even know what was on his mind? Kiba had sort of helped, in his not-very-helpful way, but he still didn't know what to do. Besides, Asuma-sensei would never stop teasing him if he told him the truth. He sighed.

"I'm not sure whether I want to settle for being just friends with somebody."

Asuma grew thoughtful. This was…curious, to say the least. There were lots of people Shikamaru could be referring to. He hadn't noticed Shikamaru's feelings towards Ino or Chouji changing, but Shikamaru was smart – if he didn't want someone to know, they wouldn't.

"You friends now?"

"Yeah." He hoped so. Had these past few days destroyed that? Had the kiss?

"Felt this way for a while?"

Shikamaru opened his mouth to agree, then paused. Had he? He'd grown close to Neji, but so far it had just been deep friendship. He'd felt something lying on top of Neji, certainly, and he found it hard to get the feel of his lips out of his head, but…were all these feelings just coming from the kiss? Was this all just superficial? Or had he just not noticed until now?

"I…I'm not sure."

"Something happened to make your feelings change?"

Shikamaru nodded.

Silence fell while both tried to sort out their thoughts. Shikamaru couldn't help doubting himself. Maybe it was just lust, an attraction stirred up by a drunken kiss, and something that would fizzle out once satisfied. If that was so, then it wasn't worth risking a friendship over.

But what if it was something more? What if the friendship had evolved into something deeper? How was Shikamaru supposed to be able to tell the difference between the two?

Asuma sighed. Damn teenage hormones. It was easier when all the kids had to worry about was killing enemy shinobi and not dying on missions. Emotions were a whole different ballgame. He was tempted to tell Shikamaru that these feelings were bad and he should remain asexual for the foreseeable future. But it hadn't worked with Ino – she'd laughed in his face – so he doubted it would work with him.

"If it means something, you'll keep feeling this way. If it doesn't, it'll fade. Just remember that friendship is more important."

Shikamaru thought about it for a couple of seconds, head down, before nodding slightly.

While Shikamaru was mulling over the new advice, Asuma spotted a figure in the crowd and had an epiphany. Then felt immensely stupid that he hadn't spotted it before. Oh well, at least he didn't have to warn Shikamaru about condoms and unexpected pregnancies. He couldn't wait to see Gai's face.

He patted Shikamaru on the shoulder, and pointed him in the Hyuuga's position. "Now's your chance. Good luck." Then he walked off, smirking.

Shikamaru looked up at Asuma's retreating back, confused, until someone stopped in front of him. Glancing forward, he froze. Damn. He was going to kill Asuma-sensei as well.

"Hey Neji."

A cool look. "Hello Shikamaru."

* * *

They ended up sitting on a low wall at the end of the market, where it was quieter and there were only a few people, none of whom had any interest in them. They were both quiet, looking in opposite directions as they each organised their thoughts.

Neji was surprised at his own feelings. For the past few days he had been eager to speak to Shikamaru and clear things up. But now he was here, he found he was actually mad at Shikamaru. Examining his own feelings, he reluctantly admitted the anger stemmed from hurt. Apparently Shikamaru would rather avoid him than try to sort things out. Did their friendship mean so little to him?

That thought made his fingers curl into the stone, sharp edges digging into the skin around his nails. The small prick of pain startled him, and he consciously relaxed, loosening his muscles. This was silly. He was being childish.

"You have been avoiding me."

Shikamaru almost flinched. He should have expected Neji to be blunt, but the accusing nature of the statement made him feel embarrassed and guilty. He nodded, then realised that Neji wasn't looking at him. "Yeah."

Turning his head, Neji's eyes caught Shikamaru. As always they were unreadable, mysterious – one of the few things Shikamaru could never figure out. "Why?"

'Why'? It was a good question. Should he be brutally honest, bare his soul and risk humiliation, rejection and disgust? Then again, he was a teenage boy. As a rule, they don't go for emotional confessions. Maybe he should stick to the bare necessities.

"I wasn't sure how you'd feel after…the kiss." Shikamaru refused to be embarrassed about that word.

Neji fought the blush that threatened to emerge. He wasn't going to get flustered over a simple word! And Hyuuga's didn't blush!

…Except Hinata, but she wasn't exactly the ideal model of Hyuuga values.

"I didn't mind the kiss. I did mind you staying away from me."

Now Shikamaru did flinch. Of course, Neji would've have taken it as a sign that _he _was uncomfortable with the situation. This was awkward. "I'm sorry." He muttered it quickly, getting it over with.

Neji smiled slightly. For some reason, seeing Shikamaru uncomfortable and repentant, apologising, made his anger go away. It was just nice to know Shikamaru didn't hate him. Being angry just seemed pointless with Shikamaru willing to admit he was wrong.

There was silence for a few seconds as they tried to figure out where to go now. Neither was willing to broach the topic of the kiss, but both knew they couldn't just ignore it either.

Deciding that since this was all his fault in the first place it was his responsibility to fix it, Shikamaru said, "I liked the kiss."

Neji looked away. "Me too," he admitted quietly. Then he looked back up. "But…"

"'But'?" Shikamaru repeated, encouraging him to continue.

Neji took a breath. "But I would rather not pursue anything further with you." He must have seen something flicker in Shikamaru's eyes because he hastened to explain himself. "I am training to become Jounin. Gai-sensei says I may be able to succeed in some months if I continue training hard. At this point in time I do not have the time or energy that I would want if I were to pursue a serious relationship." He smiled at Shikamaru. "If I were to begin something with you, I would want to devote everything to it. I cannot do that right now, and I do not want to settle for a lesser relationship."

Shikamaru stared at him for a moment, dumbstruck, before slowly smiling back. He felt like laughing, hugging Neji, crying, something! After all that, and Neji had sorted things out on his own. Everything was going to be alright.

And he could wait. He'd wait for Neji to become Jounin and Anbu and captain and however far he wanted to go. And he'd see if these feelings, these warm sparks glowing in his chest, kindled into a fire or burnt out. And if they just grew and deepened, well, he had faith in Neji. It wouldn't take him long to climb the ranks.

He could wait.

Though the shorter the wait, the better. "Want to go train?"

Neji stared into his eyes, his mind, seeing and memorising all his secrets and thoughts. Then, still smiling slightly, he shook his head and looked up.

"It's a nice day. I'd rather watch the sky."

Shikamaru grinned and nodded. "'Kay. Let's go watch clouds and birds together."

**A/N: I am very, very sorry for the horribly long wait. I started writing this chapter before my exams, then it took me about two months to finish it off! In return this chapter is extra long, so I hope that makes up for the wait. **

**This was the first time I wrote most of these characters, so I would adore any concrit on characterisation! But any feedback is appreciated and adored! So I want to say thanks to: _Daryn Maxwell, torib0o, SunSlayerMoonSlaughter, BrevityofWit, Curtis Zidane Ziraa, Wing It, AttentionDeficitDisorder, Hanai-kun, Jibun, DarogaDaae, eat.it.in.the.kitchen., essenceofthedark, judikickshiney, Absinthian Lies, Iscatian, escape5 and reaper118._**

**Wow, that was a lot! Thank you everyone, and everyone who is reading and enjoying this! **


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